Sometimes God can use the smallest things to teach us and to enable us to help others.
About a month ago, the "check engine soon" light came on in my beat up old car. After shelling out some big bucks, I was told that I needed to have the engine replaced. But until I can come up with THAT kind of money, I could drive it. So since then, I have been feeling like I have been driving that car on borrowed time.
About two weeks ago, I was downtown paying a bill when a lady and her teenage son asked if I had jumper cables. To make a long story less long, I was able to help jump start her car.
Yesterday, one of my neighbors left her car lights on all night and she needed a jump and I was also able to get her car going.
To me, it just seemed ironic that my car which appears to be on its last legs was able to be the source of helping others with their car troubles.
But, isn't that one of the ways that God works? In our singleness, we will identify things (sometimes incorrectly) that we feel are not working. But God will provide opportunities for us to still be able to help others with that very thing which we feel is broken.
So whether it is a non-existing love life or seemingly endless nights of "no good loving" or a job whose paycheck is more like an insult or friends who have not been very friendly lately; be on the watch out for God to use you and those "broken" things in your life to help someone.
I really can't explain it, but for whatever reason; God sometimes allows us the opportunity to help others in the most ironic situations. I think part of the reason He does this is to help us not take our challenges too seriously. There are people besides ourselves who have stuff to deal with and we might as well be the ones to come to their rescue; regardless of how ironic the circumstances of our aid might be.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Monday, June 09, 2008
Looking At, Not For
There is a song that says the summer is "girl watching" time. I must admit that the summer heat, extended daytime hours and summer apparel presents many opportunities for people to admire the various aspects of beauty that God has blessed humankind with.
Undoubtedly, I am not the only "girl watcher" out there and there are also many of you who are "boy watchers". As single Christians, I think it is important to acknowledge that we appreciate the physical characteristics that match our individualized standards of attractiveness. For me, a woman's eyes, the shape of her nose and the length of her neck are a few of the things that get my attention. For you, it might by the broadness of his shoulders, his eyes or his soft looking lips that makes you take a second look.
That is okay. Let's continue to admire God's handiwork. However, let's not forget that the objects of our admiration are more than a well put together mass of bones, muscles and flesh with all the right parts in the right places and in the right proportion. Also, no one is ONLY here for the fulfillment of our selfish desires. Each person is a creation of God. Some just look real good!
If she looks good to me, let me also consider the opportunity that she may be a good spiritual and mental match for me. If I can just leave things at "She looks good" without reducing her to a starring role in my lustful fantasy, then I am just looking at her and not for her.
If he looks good to you, don't forget to factor in whether or not he will be a healthy and life-affirming complement for you. If you can admire his "fine self" without dreaming of having his babies or becoming his wife or his lover, then you have mastered the fine art of looking at him and not for him.
As tempting as it may be during this "girl and boy watching season", let's keep things in the proper perspective by learning to look AT and not look FOR the beautiful people we encounter. There is nothing wrong with recognizing the beauty that God has planted in His creations. We just have to make sure we don't lose our minds or spiritual integrity. We have to stay focussed on not letting our imaginations get out of hand.
Having said that; let's enjoy this summer of the watching season!!
Undoubtedly, I am not the only "girl watcher" out there and there are also many of you who are "boy watchers". As single Christians, I think it is important to acknowledge that we appreciate the physical characteristics that match our individualized standards of attractiveness. For me, a woman's eyes, the shape of her nose and the length of her neck are a few of the things that get my attention. For you, it might by the broadness of his shoulders, his eyes or his soft looking lips that makes you take a second look.
That is okay. Let's continue to admire God's handiwork. However, let's not forget that the objects of our admiration are more than a well put together mass of bones, muscles and flesh with all the right parts in the right places and in the right proportion. Also, no one is ONLY here for the fulfillment of our selfish desires. Each person is a creation of God. Some just look real good!
If she looks good to me, let me also consider the opportunity that she may be a good spiritual and mental match for me. If I can just leave things at "She looks good" without reducing her to a starring role in my lustful fantasy, then I am just looking at her and not for her.
If he looks good to you, don't forget to factor in whether or not he will be a healthy and life-affirming complement for you. If you can admire his "fine self" without dreaming of having his babies or becoming his wife or his lover, then you have mastered the fine art of looking at him and not for him.
As tempting as it may be during this "girl and boy watching season", let's keep things in the proper perspective by learning to look AT and not look FOR the beautiful people we encounter. There is nothing wrong with recognizing the beauty that God has planted in His creations. We just have to make sure we don't lose our minds or spiritual integrity. We have to stay focussed on not letting our imaginations get out of hand.
Having said that; let's enjoy this summer of the watching season!!
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Stop By Place
I am single and I am on top of the world!
If that is not how you feel today, then perhaps what you need is a STOP BY PLACE.
Put simply, a STOP BY PLACE is the location where our faith in God intersects with His love for us. The problem is not with God's love, but it is our faith. You see, what happens is because God is not as visible to us as Mr. or Miss Look So Good or our bank accounts or girlish or boyish figures or high powered social connections; we put more faith in these things than on God.
This simple post is just an encouragement for all Christian singles to pump up our faith muscles so that our STOP BY PLACE is as high and effective as possible. Because when our faith in God is high (and the love that God has for us is already high); we will have more days when we can truly say,
I am single and I am on top of the world!
If that is not how you feel today, then perhaps what you need is a STOP BY PLACE.
Put simply, a STOP BY PLACE is the location where our faith in God intersects with His love for us. The problem is not with God's love, but it is our faith. You see, what happens is because God is not as visible to us as Mr. or Miss Look So Good or our bank accounts or girlish or boyish figures or high powered social connections; we put more faith in these things than on God.
This simple post is just an encouragement for all Christian singles to pump up our faith muscles so that our STOP BY PLACE is as high and effective as possible. Because when our faith in God is high (and the love that God has for us is already high); we will have more days when we can truly say,
I am single and I am on top of the world!
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Competing Desires
I believe it is in Psalms where the writer says, “One thing that I desire of the Lord and that I will seek after….” As Christian singles, we too share in that sentiment. We want to “dwell in the house of the Lord forever and ever”. What a wonderful thought! If we remained focused on that desire; our singleness would truly be blessed.
My response to that is it is natural to have “other” desires also. Yes, we KNOW that the Lord should be first in our lives, but every now and then, we allow other desires to creep into our hearts. If it has been a long time since someone has held us in their arms; we may DESIRE to be held. If life has been dealing you a particularly rough hand; your DESIRE may be for a sense of peace. If your physical and spiritual beauty has not been affirmed lately, you may DESIRE the appreciative glance of someone of the opposite sex. There is nothing wrong with having desires like these and others. It is my strong opinion that God was the ONE who gave us these desires. He made us so that we will go out of our way to relate to others as lovers, friends, family and associates. Otherwise, many of us would just throw up our hands and become islands unto ourselves.
When it comes to our desires, we can have them without them messing up our relationship to God. Let’s keep our desire for God first while we also acknowledge the other desires. Perhaps more important than having “other” desires is using spiritual discretion concerning to whom we express our desires.
As best we can, we should hang out with people of the same spiritual mindset. We may not be able to pick our family, but we can pick our lovers and friends. By picking the right kind of people to spend our time with; we will be better positioned to keep our “other” desires from competing with our desire for God.
When we allow otherwise “good” desires to become competing desires against our desire for God; we are the ones who lose out.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Too Picky?
Do you have a friend or family member that you view as too picky when it comes to their dating activities? Or maybe others have said that about you?
As a single Christian and as someone who is concerned for this person, what would you tell them?
As a single Christian and as someone who is concerned for this person, what would you tell them?
Thursday, May 29, 2008
An Abundant Life?
At a meeting tonight, I had the opportunity to take a life balance wheel test that measures a person's view of his or her life based on 8 factors: Spiritual life, marriage and family, vision for the future, social life, hobbies, physical condition and emotional/intellectual development. Based on answers I provided to questions under each of the above categories; I actually measured well on spiritual life, emotional/intellectual development, hobbies and vision for the future. However, I scored poorly on marriage and family and social life. Upon reflection, I am not surprised at my high and low scores.
In general, the areas I scored high were areas where the values/activity being examined were more of an intrinsic nature. My spirituality, my vision for my future, my hobbies and my emotional/intellectual development are all areas where I exercise a great measure of control. For example, being a writer is something I do in solitude.
But here is the main focus of this post. For me, I have a very noticeable imbalance when it comes to my social and family life. When Christ talked about an abundant life, I am sure He included not only one's spirituality, emotional development and hobbies. Surely He must have factored in one's relationships with family members, friends and associates. As a Christian single, I must examine why I am experiencing a disproportionate level of success in the "intrinsic" areas of my life and not with the "extrinsic" areas.
In short, why are my relationships not as "good" as my internal traits? Part of being a Christian is being able to be honest with oneself and accept responsibility for the way things are going in my life. With the Holy Spirit's guidance, I should be able to become more like what God has envisioned for me to become. You may ask, "What does God have to do with a person's relationship with family, friends and associates?" I believe He wants us to have fulfilling lives and our social lives are a major contributor to that. Thankfully, He not only wants that, but He provides guidance on how we can achieve a fulfilled life.
So Lord, thank you for allowing me grow closer to you and for the talents and abilities you have allowed me to acquire. I thank you for your keeping power that kept me from falling off the deep end emotionally and intellectually. Now Lord, help me to grow in the realization of a healthy and productive social life.
As I pray this prayer for me, I also pray that you will allow God to strengthen you where you are weak and build you up where you are torn down. Let's all remain open to the great things God is trying to teach us.
In general, the areas I scored high were areas where the values/activity being examined were more of an intrinsic nature. My spirituality, my vision for my future, my hobbies and my emotional/intellectual development are all areas where I exercise a great measure of control. For example, being a writer is something I do in solitude.
But here is the main focus of this post. For me, I have a very noticeable imbalance when it comes to my social and family life. When Christ talked about an abundant life, I am sure He included not only one's spirituality, emotional development and hobbies. Surely He must have factored in one's relationships with family members, friends and associates. As a Christian single, I must examine why I am experiencing a disproportionate level of success in the "intrinsic" areas of my life and not with the "extrinsic" areas.
In short, why are my relationships not as "good" as my internal traits? Part of being a Christian is being able to be honest with oneself and accept responsibility for the way things are going in my life. With the Holy Spirit's guidance, I should be able to become more like what God has envisioned for me to become. You may ask, "What does God have to do with a person's relationship with family, friends and associates?" I believe He wants us to have fulfilling lives and our social lives are a major contributor to that. Thankfully, He not only wants that, but He provides guidance on how we can achieve a fulfilled life.
So Lord, thank you for allowing me grow closer to you and for the talents and abilities you have allowed me to acquire. I thank you for your keeping power that kept me from falling off the deep end emotionally and intellectually. Now Lord, help me to grow in the realization of a healthy and productive social life.
As I pray this prayer for me, I also pray that you will allow God to strengthen you where you are weak and build you up where you are torn down. Let's all remain open to the great things God is trying to teach us.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
That Ain't Love, Is It?
Is it just me or does it seem to be harder to love people when they don't recognize your love? I don't mean they have to love me in kind, but at least acknowledge it for what it is. Instead, people often taint the pure love we give with the stench of impure motives. They say things like:
Having said that, we can be discerning. We don't have to fall for the next line or get sucked up by the manipulative games that people play. But we have to let go of our egos so that we can properly recognize love when it exists and properly handle it.
As givers of pure love, we need to insure that it is indeed pure and not tainted with our selfish and secrets motivations. Are we being nice to that person because that is the right thing to do or are we harboring hidden intentions? And when people question our motives, we have to love them past their suspicions. That is no easy task, but that comes along with our job descriptions as Christians.
In short, let's make up our minds (and our hearts) that we will love others at all costs and we will also recognize love when others are trying to share it with us. We will trust God enough that He will provide people in our lives that can give and receive love and thus, we will not be "overly" surpised when He comes through. Yes that person may be nice to you because he or she loves you. Maybe that is someone God sent to you to be a good friend or maybe even a romantic partner. We must caution ourselves to make sure we make the right call: friend or lover. But if we learn to put our trust in God into action, how can we go wrong?
- He must be showing me love so he can get in my pants.
- She must be showing me love so she can get something she wants.
- They must be showing me love because they feel guilty about something.
Having said that, we can be discerning. We don't have to fall for the next line or get sucked up by the manipulative games that people play. But we have to let go of our egos so that we can properly recognize love when it exists and properly handle it.
As givers of pure love, we need to insure that it is indeed pure and not tainted with our selfish and secrets motivations. Are we being nice to that person because that is the right thing to do or are we harboring hidden intentions? And when people question our motives, we have to love them past their suspicions. That is no easy task, but that comes along with our job descriptions as Christians.
In short, let's make up our minds (and our hearts) that we will love others at all costs and we will also recognize love when others are trying to share it with us. We will trust God enough that He will provide people in our lives that can give and receive love and thus, we will not be "overly" surpised when He comes through. Yes that person may be nice to you because he or she loves you. Maybe that is someone God sent to you to be a good friend or maybe even a romantic partner. We must caution ourselves to make sure we make the right call: friend or lover. But if we learn to put our trust in God into action, how can we go wrong?
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