Because Of The Desires That YOU Have Given Me

Lord, you may be wondering why I keep making bad decisions and choosing the wrong people. Since I know that you already know what's up, I don't have to waste your time with a lot of excuses.

But here is the short answer. It is because of the desire that you have given me. I desire to be with someone special. I desire to not be alone (all the time). I desire to be the source of someone else's happiness just as she is the source of mine.

Do I blame you Lord? No, because you have also given me the capacity to express my desires in the right way so that neither I nor anyone else will get hurt. So, I understand that the frustrations I feel and the mistakes I make are my fault. But I wouldn't have these problems if YOU did not give me these desires in the first place.

Eating Out Alone

One of the small pleasures I enjoy on occasion is eating out at a restaurant by myself. I usually take a book with me and I dive into it as I devour some tasty choices from the menu. Every once in awhile I will catch other patrons (who are not by themselves) looking at me as if to figure out what my story is. I can only imagine what they are thinking. But, that is really not my concern, because I am getting caught up in the developing plot of my book.

I also enjoy going out to eat with others, particularly a woman I find interesting. But, I enjoy eating out alone as much. What I miss out on in conversations, I more than make up in seeing if the guy gets the girl or the detective solves the murder case or the main character learns a key life lesson before it is too late.

So, if you see me or someone else sitting in a restaurant alone with a book, don't feel sorry for me. Just ask if I have a good book.

KISS Me!

Why is it that when it comes to interacting with people, we tend to make things more difficult than they have to be? Maybe it is time to Keep It Simple Somebody!!

In my experience, I have found that people put too much work into trying to figure me out. Trust me, I am not really all that complicated. I am far from perfect and I am learning as I go along. I have too many things going on to waste time trying to mess up your gig. So, if by chance, I do something that you do not like, it probably was not on purpose. I have my hands full just trying to get my hustle on (in a good way) that I really do not have the time nor the energy to plan on messing up yours.

The best thing you can do if you really want to figure me out is talk to me. I can tell you what I am thinking and maybe even offer an explanation behind my actions. I try to be pretty candid, so you can be comfortable that I am telling you the truth as I know it. Finally, do not ignore what I am trying to say and come up with your psychological and personality profile about me. I cannot tell you the number of times people have been way off the mark when they have done that.

When it comes to getting to know me, it really should not be all that difficult. In fact, may I suggest you K.I.S.S. me?

We Bad, Ain't We?

There is a commercial that has the tag line: Life comes at you fast. That is so true isn't it? If you are not on top of your game, it will either leave you behind or run you over.

Christian singles too must be vigilant against the dangers poised by a life that comes at us too fast.

• How many romantic opportunities have we missed that would have fulfilled our dreams? Far too often, we let things like fear or impatience keep us from what God has for us.
• How many platonic friends are no better off in their spiritual walk because we are not heeding the Divine call to uplift them? It is sad to say that many of us add to the miseries of life instead of doing the things we can to ease the pain of others.
• How effective are we in matching our spoken words with our actions? Sure we claim to be Christians who are single, but is our behavior any different (and better) than non-Christians?

Watch out, here comes life barreling down on you again! Now is not the time to wimp out. We have blessings to receive and Divine favors to share with others.

Remember, with God all things are possible and through Him we have the victory. With God on our side, that means "WE Bad, Ain't We?" Or are we just fooling ourselves?

Which Song Are You Today?

Everyday, the way we handle the circumstances that make up our lives gives off a melody. On our so-called good days, our song is upbeat and catching. On our so-called bad days, our music is depressing. Sometimes our songs are slow and moody and at other times, it is fast-paced and invigorating.

As a Christian single, what is your song today? The more we can grow in our relationship with God, the more positive and hopeful the melodies will be that we give off. Romantic partners come and go and friends are here today and gone tomorrow. Paychecks seem like they are never enough and trouble in some form or fashion always seems to be at hand. But we are the authors of our own tunes. In moments of spiritual laziness, we abdicate our responsibility to write our own beautiful songs.

May we come to understand the capacity for writing beautiful music that God has given each of us in spite of our circumstances. May we Christian singles express our praise and gratitude to Him that will be sweet music to His ears and a pleasant sound for all to hear.

Seriously! I Do Care For You!

Is it just me or do we tend to not take each other seriously when we say that we care?

The other day, I saw a friend who was sick and who I have not seen in a long time. I told her how glad I was to see her and that I was worried about her. But somehow, I really do not think she fully grasped how deeply I am concerned for her. Apparently, my words were inadequate to convey the true depth of my platonic affection.

Why do we not take each other seriously when it comes to expressions of care? My guess is that most of the time when we ask, "How are you doing?", it is done more out of polite habit than from a deep reservoir of concern. Are we Christian singles not genuine enough in the love that we should be sharing with each other? If not, maybe people are so used to us just talking about loving each other, but not really expressing true love.

For me, I have to do a better job of letting people I care about know that I really do care about them. Some suggestions for me to achieve this are:

• Tell people how much I care for them whenever the opportunity presents itself.
• Demonstate my concern through random acts of kindness as often as possible.
• Listen more and talk less when people are talking about their challenges.
• Resist the urge to ONLY help people when it is convenient.
• Let people see me expressing concern for others so they will be more apt to believe me when I say that I care for them.
• Practice expressing genuine love for those people who act "unlovable" to me.

These are but a few of many possible suggestions I will try to put into action everyday. This world is so full of hatred and meaness, that I hope to be part of a new genuine love revolution. Lord knows we all could use some more true affection in our lives.

I pray that you will also become more committed to show genuine concern to others.

Let's get out there and love somebody!!

Hopeful Singleness

So, how's your singleness going?

We are tempted to compare our experiences with others and then make a judgement. But, let's not do that today. On its own, how is your singleness today?

For Christian singles, we have something very special that other people do not. In short, we have hope. However good your singleness is going now, it can be so much better. However bad your singleness is going now, it does not always have to be that way.

Our hope rests in the uplifting promises of our Heavenly Father. But we have a part to play in fulfilling the hopefullness we possess. God will do his part, but will we do ours?

• Do we conduct ourselves in such a way that people are glad to see us coming their way or do people cringe at our appearance?
• Do we really listen when someone needs to talk or do we spend more time talking and trying to make ourselves the center of attention?
• When was the last time you sent an email or made a phone call just to encourage someone?
• Do you take more pride in being a "playa" than in being a trustworthy romantic partner?
• What takes up the bulk of your prayer time, you and your problems or your concern for others' challenges?
• Do you act as if people should just "deal with it" when it comes to your shortfalls or are you working on becoming a better friend, girl/boyfriend, co-worker, sibling or family member?

As you ponder how your singleness is going, make sure you are doing what you can to make the singleness experiences of others more enriching.