The promise of redemption is something that all Christian singles should not only hope for, but also expect. Consider it one of the benefits of membership in the Christianity Club. Now this is no exclusive club, mind you, but there are certain requirements to get in. The main requirement is to confess our sins and acknowledge Jesus as our Lord and Savior. Sounds easy, but we have a tendency to make it more difficult than it has to be.
As a member of this club, we live by the code sometimes referred to as The Divine Promises. Unfortunately, many of us have turned those codes into Divine Falsehoods. God says He will keep us from falling, but we insist on being another one that bites the dust. He says He will never forsake us, but we keep whining about the fact that we are so, so alone. He says His love can not only redeem us from our persistent stubbornness, but He can also transform others. But we want to hoard salvation for ourselves and leave those we consider unworthy to fend for themselves.
“Thank you Lord for saving me, but don’t even bother with my boss who gets on my nerves or my ex-romantic partner who broke my heart or my neighbor whose dog keeps leaving unwanted deposits on my flowers. Your grace is sufficient for me, but not even YOU can redeem them!”
Who are we to pick and choose who God saves? If He can take the time to pick us up from the depths of mess we put ourselves in, I KNOW He can save those we may view as unworthy of His redemptive power. So yes, that co-worker who keeps taking your parking space or that boyfriend who won’t stop spreading his wild oats can be changed in miraculous ways. We may not want to help our ex-wives who have turned out to be horrible mothers or that sibling who has been a thorn in our side since our childhood or that friend who still hasn’t paid back that money you lent him. But God does! That’s a blessed PROMISE, not a lie!
When we pick and choose who we want to be redeemed by God and we defiantly say that if they are going to be saved, it will not be through our efforts, we are advertising that God’s promises are in fact Divine Falsehoods. Christian singles should be in the business of letting God use them as instruments of redemption. That’s one of the requirements of being a good member in standing at the Christianity Club.
Remember, it’s the devil who is a liar, not our God!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Is God A Liar?
Okay, we all know what the answer to that question SHOULD be. But what do our relationships say about the truthfulness and dependability of God? Bottom line, it really isn’t God’s honesty that is in question. Rather, it is our understanding and faith in His Word that needs to be examined.
It is very easy for us to fall back on habits, most of them bad, when it comes to our relationships. If you don’t speak to me, then I won’t speak to you. If you are mean to me, then I will be mean to you. If you hurt me, I will try to hurt you back. Instead of taking the high road and apologizing even though “technically” it was not your fault, we stubbornly refuse to let anyone “get over” on us. Many of us would rather see a relationship that once was good deteriorate into a relationship that is now bad. Far too often, we let our hurts and bitterness and pride keep us from making the first move to restore a once treasured relationship.
If all of this is true, then what did Jesus die on the cross for? When we have so many relationships that are unfulfilling or annoying or reactionary, then we are in essence calling God a liar!
Most of us are “smart” enough to level that accusation behind His back. We ain’t crazy enough to say it to His face! But the truth of the matter is, the way we conduct ourselves in our interactions with others hints at our doubts in the redeeming power of the God we serve.
I encourage all of us Christian singles to do the little and the big things to develop and sustain more relationships that are positive. This means we have to be willing to forgive even when the other person shows no interest in being forgiven. We have to love people even more intensely when they are at their most unlovable. We should be willing to risk being humiliated or talked about or rejected because of our attempts to make a new friend or reunite with an old one. Sending that email may not be your thing, so pick up the phone. Taking someone out to dinner may not be possible, but buying a card expressing positive thoughts is something most of us can afford. Turning the cheek and learning to count to seventy times seven may be a bit much, but we can learn to be more patient and more forgiving in our relationships. Doing “this” may not be what you want to do, so consider doing “that”.
As we approach the end of one year and the beginning of another; I pray that we will turn from our ways that imply that God’s desire to keep us from falling is just another empty promise.
It is very easy for us to fall back on habits, most of them bad, when it comes to our relationships. If you don’t speak to me, then I won’t speak to you. If you are mean to me, then I will be mean to you. If you hurt me, I will try to hurt you back. Instead of taking the high road and apologizing even though “technically” it was not your fault, we stubbornly refuse to let anyone “get over” on us. Many of us would rather see a relationship that once was good deteriorate into a relationship that is now bad. Far too often, we let our hurts and bitterness and pride keep us from making the first move to restore a once treasured relationship.
If all of this is true, then what did Jesus die on the cross for? When we have so many relationships that are unfulfilling or annoying or reactionary, then we are in essence calling God a liar!
Most of us are “smart” enough to level that accusation behind His back. We ain’t crazy enough to say it to His face! But the truth of the matter is, the way we conduct ourselves in our interactions with others hints at our doubts in the redeeming power of the God we serve.
I encourage all of us Christian singles to do the little and the big things to develop and sustain more relationships that are positive. This means we have to be willing to forgive even when the other person shows no interest in being forgiven. We have to love people even more intensely when they are at their most unlovable. We should be willing to risk being humiliated or talked about or rejected because of our attempts to make a new friend or reunite with an old one. Sending that email may not be your thing, so pick up the phone. Taking someone out to dinner may not be possible, but buying a card expressing positive thoughts is something most of us can afford. Turning the cheek and learning to count to seventy times seven may be a bit much, but we can learn to be more patient and more forgiving in our relationships. Doing “this” may not be what you want to do, so consider doing “that”.
As we approach the end of one year and the beginning of another; I pray that we will turn from our ways that imply that God’s desire to keep us from falling is just another empty promise.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Same Ole, Same Ole
We may wonder why even bother with trying to establish new relationships or resurrect old ones? Our lives may not be perfect, but we have learned to live with the challenges we have. So what if I never find true love? Who cares if I only have a few friends that I can truly count on? What’s the big deal if I never speak to that ex-friend or ex-romantic partner who callously ended our relationship?
That same ole, same ole relationship is looking good right now, isn’t it?
Let’s look at a hypothetical example. Suppose I dated a lady and it seemed like we were really into each other. Then she cheated on me with my best friend and showed no remorse when I confronted her. To make things worse, suppose she left me to continue her relationship with my friend and made no effort to restore our relationship.
In that example, it is obvious that I have a negative relationship with her after all that we have gone through. But, I have a choice as to how I deal with my relationship with her. I can leave things as they are. Or I can try to re-establish some kind of a positive connection. (Not necessarily a romantic relationship, but at least one where we can be genuinely civil to each other.) As a Christian single, I should not settle for the same ole, same ole. I may not ever have her as a girl friend, but I can try to have her as a platonic friend.
I can hear you saying that I cannot control the ex-girlfriend. If she does not want to re-establish a positive connection with me, then there is nothing I can do. But is that really true? I can try and that is where my responsibility lies.
Why would I even bother to become friends with someone who blatantly broke my heart? Because I do not want to be the one to call the redemptive power of Godly love a lie! Jesus died on the cross to save us and to offer us an alternative to our sinful nature. God redeemed me (and all of you). Can His love redeem people like the ex-girlfriend in this example? Am I or are you willing to be the instrument God uses to transform our relationships from the same ole, same ole?
Now take the above example and apply it to your own situations. Maybe it is not an ex romantic partner, but maybe it is a family member with whom you have stopped speaking. Or perhaps your same ole, same ole is the possibility of a new romantic relationship that you are not willing to be open to. Or maybe it is a co-worker who is a specialist in working your last nerve. The possible examples of same ole, same ole are endless!
Why send that email or call that person or say hello to that person in the grocery store who spoke to you or contact that person to ask for forgiveness or buy dinner for someone who you know is having a hard time? Because that may an opportunity provided by the Divine to break out of the same ole, same ole rut.
That same ole, same ole relationship is looking good right now, isn’t it?
Let’s look at a hypothetical example. Suppose I dated a lady and it seemed like we were really into each other. Then she cheated on me with my best friend and showed no remorse when I confronted her. To make things worse, suppose she left me to continue her relationship with my friend and made no effort to restore our relationship.
In that example, it is obvious that I have a negative relationship with her after all that we have gone through. But, I have a choice as to how I deal with my relationship with her. I can leave things as they are. Or I can try to re-establish some kind of a positive connection. (Not necessarily a romantic relationship, but at least one where we can be genuinely civil to each other.) As a Christian single, I should not settle for the same ole, same ole. I may not ever have her as a girl friend, but I can try to have her as a platonic friend.
I can hear you saying that I cannot control the ex-girlfriend. If she does not want to re-establish a positive connection with me, then there is nothing I can do. But is that really true? I can try and that is where my responsibility lies.
Why would I even bother to become friends with someone who blatantly broke my heart? Because I do not want to be the one to call the redemptive power of Godly love a lie! Jesus died on the cross to save us and to offer us an alternative to our sinful nature. God redeemed me (and all of you). Can His love redeem people like the ex-girlfriend in this example? Am I or are you willing to be the instrument God uses to transform our relationships from the same ole, same ole?
Now take the above example and apply it to your own situations. Maybe it is not an ex romantic partner, but maybe it is a family member with whom you have stopped speaking. Or perhaps your same ole, same ole is the possibility of a new romantic relationship that you are not willing to be open to. Or maybe it is a co-worker who is a specialist in working your last nerve. The possible examples of same ole, same ole are endless!
Why send that email or call that person or say hello to that person in the grocery store who spoke to you or contact that person to ask for forgiveness or buy dinner for someone who you know is having a hard time? Because that may an opportunity provided by the Divine to break out of the same ole, same ole rut.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Shattered Glass
I was watching a television show and that particular episode’s topic was interesting. It started with one of the friends bringing his new girlfriend to a gathering where his other friends hung out. Later on, when he asked his friends what they thought of his new romantic partner, they were initially reluctant to tell him. They did not want him to lose the luster of new romance that comes with the early stages of dating someone. Eventually they told him that she was okay, but that she talked too much. At that point, you could hear glass shattering as the new boyfriend began to recognize this annoying habit the other friends noticed about his new love interest. From that point on, every time he was with his girlfriend, he could not help but see how she indeed did talk too much.
Have you ever had the glass shattered in any of your relationships, either platonic or romantic? Somewhere down the road you recognize that he doesn’t wash his hands after using the restroom or she always talks about her ex-boyfriends. Or she plays the music in the car too loud or he always chews with his mouth open. Bad habits. We all have them and yes, some are worse than others. When we first start that new friendship or romantic relationship, we often don’t notice those bad habits that will later get on our nerves.
But then, the glass shatters and it seems like the bad habit keeps growing until it dominates your thoughts about the new person in your life.
First of all, we have to remember that the glass shattered for God in His dealings with us. He wants so much more for ourselves than we can envision, but our bad habits born out of fear and ego keeps us from reaching our potential. But somehow, God doesn’t allow the sound of shattering glass to keep Him from having a relationship with us. Thank God that He not only loves us for what we are now, but also for what we can become. That is the redeeming nature of Godly love.
Second, we Christian singles need to stop being so nit-picky in our relationships with each other. We all have the capacity to change bad habits into good ones and we all can grow in positive ways. Let’s make a genuine effort to help each other become more good and even less annoying. Let’s be willing to change even as we ask others to do the same.
Third, let’s put God’s redeeming love into action with ourselves and with those with whom we interact. I’m not saying that you need to be bosom buddies with an ax murderer or a lover with drug dealer, but most of the bad habits we have fall way short of killing people or peddling illegal drugs. Believe in the power of God’s love to transform Mr. or Miss Okay to Mr. or Miss Almost Perfect. (Let's face it; none of us will ever be PERFECT.)
If God can still love and be with us after the glass shattered for Him, surely we can do the same with each other.
Have you ever had the glass shattered in any of your relationships, either platonic or romantic? Somewhere down the road you recognize that he doesn’t wash his hands after using the restroom or she always talks about her ex-boyfriends. Or she plays the music in the car too loud or he always chews with his mouth open. Bad habits. We all have them and yes, some are worse than others. When we first start that new friendship or romantic relationship, we often don’t notice those bad habits that will later get on our nerves.
But then, the glass shatters and it seems like the bad habit keeps growing until it dominates your thoughts about the new person in your life.
First of all, we have to remember that the glass shattered for God in His dealings with us. He wants so much more for ourselves than we can envision, but our bad habits born out of fear and ego keeps us from reaching our potential. But somehow, God doesn’t allow the sound of shattering glass to keep Him from having a relationship with us. Thank God that He not only loves us for what we are now, but also for what we can become. That is the redeeming nature of Godly love.
Second, we Christian singles need to stop being so nit-picky in our relationships with each other. We all have the capacity to change bad habits into good ones and we all can grow in positive ways. Let’s make a genuine effort to help each other become more good and even less annoying. Let’s be willing to change even as we ask others to do the same.
Third, let’s put God’s redeeming love into action with ourselves and with those with whom we interact. I’m not saying that you need to be bosom buddies with an ax murderer or a lover with drug dealer, but most of the bad habits we have fall way short of killing people or peddling illegal drugs. Believe in the power of God’s love to transform Mr. or Miss Okay to Mr. or Miss Almost Perfect. (Let's face it; none of us will ever be PERFECT.)
If God can still love and be with us after the glass shattered for Him, surely we can do the same with each other.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
L-Tryptophan Attack!
You know that sleepy feeling you get after eating a big meal like most of us enjoy at Thanksgiving? Forget about washing those dishes! Maybe I won’t catch the rest of the game! Okay, it’s time for the relatives to leave so I can take a nap!
You have just been attacked by L-Tryptophan! Don’t worry, no need to call Homeland Security. Don’t go bugging your doctor! Leave those folks at the emergency room alone! L-Tryptophan is an amino acid that induces a sense of sleepiness after we eat. If we are not careful, we could sleep away a significant portion of our holiday.
Is there a spiritual complement to L-Tryptophan? I suggest that when we gorge ourselves on depression or anxieties, we fall into a pit of lethargy and laziness. Since I don’t have a lover or romantic partner; I am not going to read my Bible today. Because I feel so alone; I am not going to say my prayers this morning. Due to my gluttony on self-pity; I am going to temporarily not be a Christian single today!
All of us are susceptible to being attacked by “spiritual L-Tryptophan”. Especially during the holidays, we may have the urge to just go through the motions but not really establishing or building on our relationships. “Lord, just let me get through New Year’s Eve and I will start the new year as a spiritual Christian single again!”
But a lot can happen between now and December 31st. New friendships can be formed. A romantic partner may be discovered. Family members can be reunited. Indeed, a lot can happen, but a lot can also be missed.
Before you pick up that next piece of loneliness stuffed with depression; be on your guard against the L-Tryptophan Attack!
You have just been attacked by L-Tryptophan! Don’t worry, no need to call Homeland Security. Don’t go bugging your doctor! Leave those folks at the emergency room alone! L-Tryptophan is an amino acid that induces a sense of sleepiness after we eat. If we are not careful, we could sleep away a significant portion of our holiday.
Is there a spiritual complement to L-Tryptophan? I suggest that when we gorge ourselves on depression or anxieties, we fall into a pit of lethargy and laziness. Since I don’t have a lover or romantic partner; I am not going to read my Bible today. Because I feel so alone; I am not going to say my prayers this morning. Due to my gluttony on self-pity; I am going to temporarily not be a Christian single today!
All of us are susceptible to being attacked by “spiritual L-Tryptophan”. Especially during the holidays, we may have the urge to just go through the motions but not really establishing or building on our relationships. “Lord, just let me get through New Year’s Eve and I will start the new year as a spiritual Christian single again!”
But a lot can happen between now and December 31st. New friendships can be formed. A romantic partner may be discovered. Family members can be reunited. Indeed, a lot can happen, but a lot can also be missed.
Before you pick up that next piece of loneliness stuffed with depression; be on your guard against the L-Tryptophan Attack!
Don’t Call Me Scrooge!
Before you even say it, I know that Mr. Scrooge is usually associated with Christmas. But I have a feeling that he will start making his appearance starting today (Thanksgiving Day) and hang around throughout the holidays.
For many, Thanksgiving is a time to buy too much food, prepare an insanely amount of food and then consume much more food than is necessary to live. Also, this day is a day to prepare an elaborate and impressive display of food for family and friends to be awed by. Then Thanksgiving Thursday is followed by Black Friday where people get up early in the morning to jostle old ladies out of the way in search of a great sale on Christmas gifts.
Don’t call me Scrooge, but it all sounds like madness to me!
What would happen if each family set aside one tenth of what they normally spend for the Thanksgiving meal and another one tenth of what they normally spend on Black Friday and they donated that to a local charity helping the homeless? That act of small sacrifice would have a dramatic impact on service to the less fortunate in our communities.
Now suppose we singles took one tenth of the energies we “waste” bemoaning the fact that we are still single at the beginning of another holiday season and we focused instead on uplifting one person? What kind of impact could we have? It seems like many of us Christian singles “enjoy” being depressed or emotionally down during the holidays. We wear our loneliness blues as a badge of honor.
Don’t call me scrooge, but it all sounds like madness to me!
I challenge every Christian single person who reads this blog to dedicate a portion of their time, energies and attention to making another single person’s holiday special.
For many, Thanksgiving is a time to buy too much food, prepare an insanely amount of food and then consume much more food than is necessary to live. Also, this day is a day to prepare an elaborate and impressive display of food for family and friends to be awed by. Then Thanksgiving Thursday is followed by Black Friday where people get up early in the morning to jostle old ladies out of the way in search of a great sale on Christmas gifts.
Don’t call me Scrooge, but it all sounds like madness to me!
What would happen if each family set aside one tenth of what they normally spend for the Thanksgiving meal and another one tenth of what they normally spend on Black Friday and they donated that to a local charity helping the homeless? That act of small sacrifice would have a dramatic impact on service to the less fortunate in our communities.
Now suppose we singles took one tenth of the energies we “waste” bemoaning the fact that we are still single at the beginning of another holiday season and we focused instead on uplifting one person? What kind of impact could we have? It seems like many of us Christian singles “enjoy” being depressed or emotionally down during the holidays. We wear our loneliness blues as a badge of honor.
Don’t call me scrooge, but it all sounds like madness to me!
I challenge every Christian single person who reads this blog to dedicate a portion of their time, energies and attention to making another single person’s holiday special.
- Send an uninvited e-card.
- Take someone out to lunch or dinner without any expectation of a reward.
- Call someone that you haven’t spoken with in a while and let them know you were thinking about them.
- Offer to do something nice with no strings attached.
- Be the bigger person and apologize to that person whose relationship with you fell apart.
There are literally a million things each of us could do. Let’s make this holiday season less about what we don’t have or about who is not in our lives and more about putting a smile on a fellow single person’s face.
And oh by the way, so you won’t call me Scrooge, have a happy Thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Flowers in Concrete
This morning on my way to church, I passed a concrete embankment that had some flowers growing through one of its cracks. That seemed kind of weird to me. How can a delicate flower break its way through solid concrete?
Sometimes in our lives, we encounter people that we feel are too hard or too uncaring. How in the world can a delicate flower of love and compassion break through their tough exterior?
Better yet, there are some struggles we have that very few people know about. You know what I’m talking about: those fears that keep you from sending that email or making that phone call or taking that test or filling out that job application or applying for that mortgage. Or your desperate desire to be loved that you find yourself settling for any person with warm blood running through their veins. Or that spiritual virus you’ve been suffering under that keeps you from reading your bible or going to church or praying for others or sincerely trying to be a man or woman with God in your eyes. Or that secret weakness that leads you to sleep with people who are not your marriage partner or causes you to continue that rumor that someone just shared with you or takes you down the path to anger and revenge because you are not willing to forgive.
I cannot explain it, but flowers do grow through concrete. That person who appears to be so unapproachable can have his or her heart warmed up. Maybe the Holy Spirit is guiding you to say hello which just might start the process for this person to regain their sense of humanity.
You may feel like you are stuck in the concrete of your fears or unspiritual lusts or seemingly overpowering weaknesses, but God’s flower of spiritual enlightenment can break through your walls of resistance.
So the next time you encounter a concrete barrier whether it is in the form of someone else or it resides in you, believe in the power of God to plant a flower and allow Him to nurture it so that it will grow.
Sometimes in our lives, we encounter people that we feel are too hard or too uncaring. How in the world can a delicate flower of love and compassion break through their tough exterior?
Better yet, there are some struggles we have that very few people know about. You know what I’m talking about: those fears that keep you from sending that email or making that phone call or taking that test or filling out that job application or applying for that mortgage. Or your desperate desire to be loved that you find yourself settling for any person with warm blood running through their veins. Or that spiritual virus you’ve been suffering under that keeps you from reading your bible or going to church or praying for others or sincerely trying to be a man or woman with God in your eyes. Or that secret weakness that leads you to sleep with people who are not your marriage partner or causes you to continue that rumor that someone just shared with you or takes you down the path to anger and revenge because you are not willing to forgive.
I cannot explain it, but flowers do grow through concrete. That person who appears to be so unapproachable can have his or her heart warmed up. Maybe the Holy Spirit is guiding you to say hello which just might start the process for this person to regain their sense of humanity.
You may feel like you are stuck in the concrete of your fears or unspiritual lusts or seemingly overpowering weaknesses, but God’s flower of spiritual enlightenment can break through your walls of resistance.
So the next time you encounter a concrete barrier whether it is in the form of someone else or it resides in you, believe in the power of God to plant a flower and allow Him to nurture it so that it will grow.
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