Theologian and author Reinhold Nieburh is credited with writing “The Serenity Prayer” which starts off with the following verse:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."
I wonder if this is something that we can apply to our lives today? You see, we try to do the right things, but people don’t always cooperate. That special lady that I would like to get to know better, she has other things on her mind. Since I can’t change her, should I love her anyway? That guy that seems like he would be a great romantic partner just does not see things your way. You have failed in getting him to adopt your point of view, so does that mean you need to give up on love? That boss seems to get a kick out of ruining your day, but does that mean you should not put in an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay? That friend who keeps stabbing you in the back or who won’t repay the money you lent makes you wonder if you are viewed as weak by being so nice?
With all of these people who won’t go along with our plans, should we still send that email, extend that invitation, mail that letter, share that smile, give that greeting, offer that shoulder to cry on or shake that hand? If you are a Christian, the answer to that question is another question. Why would you not?
God did for us what it may not have made sense for Him to do. He loved us when He was the furthest thing from our minds. He desired a relationship with us when we were too distracted looking at others to have a relationship with Him. He sacrificed everything on the off chance that one day we might come to our spiritual senses. Wow, what a tremendous risk He undertook!
“Lord, help me not to get all twisted up about those people and circumstances I cannot change. Help me to keep my focus on where it should be. That is, help me to concentrate on me. In short, help me to do the right things for the right reasons”.
How ironic it is that the people we cannot change are the same people we allow to change us! She won’t love me? Then I will stop having that loving feeling! He won’t return my calls? Then I will stop calling! You don’t want to be my romantic partner? Then I will give up on this thing called romance! My boss won’t treat me right? Then I will cease being a good employee! My friends keep stabbing me in my back? Then I will stop being a friend!
Hmmm, interesting how this Niebuhr guy related his prayer to the attainment of serenity or what we may call peace of mind. Could it be that I am stressing on things and people I have no control of and losing sight of how I can help me? He suggests that it is wisdom that helps us to focus on those capabilities that God has already granted. No stress, no drama and a good dose of wisdom. This Niebuhr guy might be on to something!
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2 comments:
Kevin,
Now you're cooking with gas.
I agree 100 percent with your last paragraph. So what's the catch?
It's one thing to want and be prepared to accept the blessings that God has in store for us.
We can love people for who they are and we can have all the relationships (friends, co-workers, neighbors ...) But if we continue to focus just on having that special other in our lives, we miss out on so much more.
I can't stress on him not loving me like I want him to. I can't worry why I am always the one who gets the man with no teeth or no job. Okay, maybe thats pushing it a little bit. But the point is, if I am blessed to get that second chance, "Hey I am ready". Until then I have to enjoy what God has and is blessing me with right now. I don't want to miss one single thing. So I pray that silently as I try to be still and let God.
I am still waiting for the catch. It's scary when you have something that I am really agreeing on. So bring it on.
LBJ"s"
Wow! I had prayed this prayer before Kevin even blogged it because it is my desire to truly live this prayer daily.
I wish I knew the magic or secret to accepting that the man of my dreams will simply remain a dream.
I know I should love this person anyway but more importantly pray for his good by asking the lord to bless him with that special lady and the desires of his heart even though it does not include me. I guess this is what you refer to in this blog when you state “people don’t always cooperate” as they should.
I realize I have to be so much better than those who claim they love me and claim that I am such a blessing BUT yet they cannot simply return a phone call, return an email, say thank you for the birthday cards, the well wishes, and holiday greetings. Perhaps this is what you are referring to when you state “he would be a great friend and maybe a wonderful romantic partner but I cannot seem to get him to adopt my point of view”—I suppose I should love him anyway and I do. Beside the fact, I am totally a Christian so I may continue to send those long emails, extend that invite, mail those impromptu notes that simply say I think you are hot and I would like to get to know you better—just maybe I will.
Yes God did it all for us so I guess love does not have to make sense and that person does not have to love you back – because we are made in His image it is ok to desire relationships with people even if they don’t feel the same way—perhaps some day “they may come to their spiritual senses” – just maybe if not that does not change my responsibility to love him anyway.
Yes, writer I think you are on to something very important that we must learn to accept those things and people we cannot change…although we allow people to change us we cannot change those people to make them feel what we feel; and like what we like.
Thank You!
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