Okay, I’m Cool With That

You asked me to pray for you because you need the strength to do something you feel you must do. I don’t need to know all of the details. Just asking me to pray for you is all the information I require. So if you have nothing else to say; I am cool with that.

You said that now is not a good time to talk because you are dealing with the after effects of a broken heart. You can’t understand why your romantic partner did you that way, but you realize you must pick up the broken pieces of your heart and move on. You don’t have to share the gory details because I know what it’s like to have someone steal your heart. If you want to put a pause on our relationship while you recover from the one from your past; it’s okay, I’m cool with that.

You don’t understand why some singles seem to be so desperate because you certainly don’t feel that way. Thank God you’ve got this singleness thing figured out. You just have trouble seeing why certain singles seem to lose their minds for some loving. If you don’t even want to try to understand and you care not to entertain the thought; that's fine, I am cool with that.

You want someone to love you just as you are and you don’t seem to be making any progress in finding true love. You hate to come across as a weakling, but there are nights you cried yourself to sleep and still it turned out to be a sleepless night. If you want to pretend like nothing is wrong and you prefer I not be so insightful; that’s alright, I’m cool with that.

Being your friend means I take you as you are wherever you are in your singleness. I understand that we all have good days and not so good days and sometimes very bad days. Having bad singleness days does not make you a bad person. In fact, Jesus paid the price so that none of us have to be “bad”. Ain’t that good! So when singleness is like a walk in the park on a cheery spring day, I won’t steal your sunshine. But when singleness is like the rain that ruins your parade and your picnic; I will be there with an umbrella. Where ever you are is where I will be. Come hell or high water, we are going to be okay in our singleness. We both are children of God and I am definitely cool with that!

Let Me Ask You A Question

Okay, this is something new for this blog. Periodically, I will write a short scenario and I want you to write a brief (no more than two sentences) response or reaction. I think it will be interesting to see how different people view the various scenarios that will be presented.

“You told me that you are in one of those moods. Tonight is full of many possibilities if I play my cards right.” I wonder what you mean when you say that you will take me places I have never been? I have to admit, I am intrigued by your words. Maybe I will take you up on your offer. Before I do though, I have one question for you.

That question :_________________________________________________________.

Just Lookin’

I was killing some time in the mall and I went into one of the department stores. I was actually out and about taking care of some things and decided to walk around and browse a few things. You ever have one of those days when you have no intention of buying anything but you feel like seeing what is out there? Well, that was me today.

While walking down one of the aisles, a store associate came up and asked, “May I help you with anything?” As you can guess, my response was “No thanks, I am just looking.”

Unfortunately, many singles go through life “just lookin’”. We find ourselves in the department stores of God’s providence and we would rather browse than buy. We have access to a storehouse of divine promises, but we don’t want to step out on faith. Instead, we choose to keep our faith in our pockets.

What are some examples of singles “just lookin’”?

• We adopt the victim mentality and refuse to change. This can apply to not exercising to take care of our health, not reading to expand our minds, not going to Bible study to learn more about God’s word or not resisting sexual temptation.
  
  
• We spend more time looking for faults in others than on looking for ways that we can grow. Sure it is easier to point out the faults of people we interact with, but it requires a commitment to change when we recognize our own vulnerabilities.
  
  
• We stop believing that God has great things in store for us. A husband or a wife? A better paying job? A successful new business venture? A true friend? Spiritual maturity? Not for me. Not because God will not grant these things. Rather, we won’t receive these things because we are too lazy to put God’s promises to work in our lives. In the mode of not believing in God’s promises, it is easier to complain than it is to sweat a little to grow a lot.
  

And I could go on. The list is too extensive to mention everything. So don’t think you are off the hook if what you are dealing with is not listed!

When we “just look”, we do not cash in our faith in God. Sure we talk a good game about being a child of the King, but we sure don’t act like it. It is almost like we go out of our way to find something to complain about. We aren’t doing those things that will move us closer to our God-ordained potential and yet we complain about the lack of progress in our lives. For some of us, we are doing the right things, sort of. The truth of the matter is many of us are just going through the motions. We go to church because we have a sense of obligation to go. Not because we can get another dose of God’s word. We read the Bible because we heard that is the thing that Christians do. Not because that is one of the ways that God whispers in our ears. Whether we are doing nothing or we are just going through the motions; we are as vulnerable to sexual temptation, spreading false rumors, dating spiritually incompatible people, not taking care of our spiritual and physical health as we were when we first gave our hearts to God.

So the next time God asks, “Can I help you with anything today”; take my advice and don’t say, “No thanks, I’m just looking.”

What Have We Here?

Lately, I have been thinking about my lack of a love life. Poor, poor me! Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. And on and on it goes. My phone doesn’t ring. My email box is empty (except for the regular notices that I have won a million dollars in a lottery that I didn’t even know I played) and my door knocker is about to fall due to lack of use.

What have we here? Another bad singleness day? If you ask me, it looks like my glass is not only half empty, but it is looking pitiful bad.

Where is God in all of this self-pity party? Some might look at me and say, “If that is the kind you serve that He leaves you without joy, I don’t want no part of it.” Can’t say that I blame them. What kind of message am I sending about my Heavenly Father?

No love? Oh really! I guess Jesus’ love is not enough. What greater love than for someone to lay down his life? Christ did that for me? Well, that’s the kind of love I need!

What have we here? A singleness gone bad because I don’t recognize the blessing of God’s love? How many souls have been turned away because of my displays of loneliness? Ahh, the possibilities, but now they are gone. Why? Because I kept the focus on me.

At times like this, others may say, “My god is bigger, stronger and better than your God.” When I am moping around like this, how can I argue? They may be on to something. Maybe I should give my God another look. Loneliness and depression, you ain’t got nothing on Him. No doubt my God can open a can on your god!

What have we here? Has God been faithful to you? But that is really not the question. We should answer if we have been faithful to Him? I think that is where I have messed up. I really didn’t trust Him. I really didn’t expect Him to keep His word. I wasted too much time looking at my problems instead of staying focused on the promise of God’s power.

Jesus loves me this I know! What have I been smoking? Me with no love life? Now that I think about it; that is ridiculous! I have more love than I can handle and that’s the problem. I can’t “haaaaaaaandle” it. (From the movie, A Few Good Men with Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson). Not because I am not capable, but because I didn’t truly believe.

I’m in love with Jesus and He’s in love with me. Well, what have we here!

That Ain’t No Bop!

Go ahead and strut. Walk that walk! Keep your head up, but not too far up that you can’t see where you’re stepping. You might fall into a ditch or something. Feeling pretty good about yourself, aren’t you? You have got this singleness thing licked. You are on top of the world.

POW! WHAM! (In tribute to the tv classic “Batman"). Then suddenly life is not so great anymore. You refuse to be defeated, but your walk is a bit more unsteady. You try to play it off, but we both know the truth. That ain’t no bop!

Bop is a style of walking that exudes confidence. It usually includes a little dip there, a lean here and a sway somewhere. But between you and me, you aren’t really feeing all poised. What was it this time? Loneliness, sexual frustration, disappointment, another special day spent without someone special, a broken heart, a misunderstanding of God’s purpose or people just being people? For now your bop has taken a temporary leave of absence.

Sure you can keep moving. But that don’t look like no strut! Just because you have a limp from where your singleness kicked you in the shins, doesn’t mean that you are defeated. Stay faithful to God and He will help you get your bop back. Sometimes He allows us to limp through until we are able to regain our stride.

You don’t have to fake it with me. I know what it is like to stumble through a valley or two. Once I caught a reflection of myself trying to jive walk my way through another bad singleness day. But the image of me limping made me realize something and I share that realization with you. That ain’t no bop!

Don’t Ask God

Tonight, I come before you as a self-appointed representative of God. He has not specifically asked me to say the following, so if you don’t like it, don’t blame Him.

Somewhere not too far from most of us, there is a person who needs a shoulder to cry on. This person probably has gone on and suffered in silence for so long that they feel like they are going to burst. Maybe they are at the point that one inconsiderate remark or one insensitive act may cause them to go “postal”. If you see this person, don’t ask God to help them. You do it!

Every once in a while, our singleness gets the best of us and we need a sympathetic ear. At those times, we need love without expectations and gestures of affections without secret agendas. When you see someone going through this, don’t ask God to uplift them. You do it!

If not today, then maybe tomorrow, you will encounter someone who is really working that last nerve. For no good reason, they have decided to see how many of your buttons they can push. A few years back before you were saved, you might have opened a can on this person, but thank God you are not what you used to be. Instead of asking God to keep you from bopping them on the head, you do what you have been spiritually trained to do to show your Godly love. God’s love has redeeming power!

Mr. or Miss Look-So-Good is all up in your face and no is the furthest thing from your mind. What harm could a little “something something” do? You have been faithful and you’ve been strong, but your resistance to sexual immorality is fading fast. Don’t ask God to take away the temptation. Use this episode as an opportunity to put your spiritual convictions to the test.

In short, here is what I am trying to say. Let’s stop “bugging” God with stuff we can do ourselves. Sure we can pray for others, but let’s not stop there. Most of us have the capacity to lend a shoulder to cry on, help the old lady across the street, give food to the homeless, talk a close friend away from the brink of an emotional explosion, be the model of “good” when the temptation to be “bad” is challenging us and so much more. As God’s temporary spokesperson, I must remind you that we don’t always have to run to Him when we already have the resources to uplift His people.

I guess I better be going now. I think I see some official looking angels heading my way. I wonder if they are coming to congratulate me for speaking for God or are they coming to fire me. Whatever the case, you think about what I’ve said and give God a break. We are no longer victims, but the victors. Let’s use the power to help and inspire that comes with being Children of God.