Is it just me or are there times when you are praying that your minds begin to wander? “What am I going to wear today?” “I need to send so-n-so an email.” “What time is that meeting this evening?” Thoughts like these invade my mind even as I am talking to God.
The thoughts that try to intrude in our prayers are referred to as the second mind. People who meditate often focus on something or repeat a mantra to keep their mind from being distracted. For me, before I pray, I keep repeating, “You are getting ready to talk to the most high God.” I am trying to set the tone for my audience with the Supreme Creator. In essence, I am trying to subdue the restlessness of my second mind.
As singles, how many times have we started off with the best of intentions, but we have allowed ourselves to be sidetracked? We said things we should not have said, gone to places we should have visited, had sex at spiritually inappropriate times, etc. Very rarely do we wake up in the morning and we say “I am going to blatantly go outside of God’s will today.” In fact, we usually ask for His guidance. But something happens along the way.
That is the working of our second minds!
Let’s hope that our “first” minds are in the right place. If not, we are in a bad starting place and things will only get worse. We know our first minds are messed up when the wrong things we do are done with little resistance. Let’s have sex. Sure! Let me spread this rumor about someone. Sure! Cuss that person out who just did you wrong. Sure! If our first minds are set on God’s will, then when these opportunities to do wrong appear, we will try to resist them.
With our first minds straight, let’s get to our second minds. To subdue this less apparent part of our consciousness requires a lot of spiritual focus. We don’t start out doing wrong, but because we are not being vigilant, our resistance to temptation is weak. Activities like reading the Bible, going to church and to Bible study, praying consistently, adopting the principles of Godly love and putting the needs of others above our own will help us to keep our second minds in check.
Don’t get discouraged when your second minds get the best of you. Get up, brush yourself off and resolve to do better next time. Turn each moment of defeat learning into opportunities. Allow the Holy Spirit to turn your “lemons” into “lemonade”. As long as the first mind is on the right path, you are positioned to eventually overcome the traps of the second mind. The more you can get both minds in line; the more you can transform your singleness into blessedness.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Thoughts of “Shenequa”
This past weekend, I went to one of the local parks to read a book. As I was walking back to my car, I remembered how I found out about this park. It was “Shenequa”! In case you haven’t figured it out, that is not her real name.
I can imagine that many of you are automatically assuming that Shenequa and I had something going on. The truth is that she and I never dated nor did we have a romantic relationship. I met her about 10 years when I had my bookstore and she was a regular customer. I always thought she was cute, but since I was married at the time, I knew that nothing was ever going to happen.
After my divorce which was after I closed my store, Shenequa and I ran into each other. We talked on the phone a few times and shared a dinner or two. Our “relationship” consisted mostly of talking and probably lasted 2 or 3 weeks. It was during those few weeks that she took me to the park. A couple of years after that, our paths crossed and I learned then that she was getting married in the next few months. She has since moved away to another town.
Why do I share this with you? Because as I thought of Shenequa this past weekend, I remember our brief time fondly. This led me to wonder if there are people out there that would think of me in fond ways. Have I conducted myself in ways that left others feeling good about themselves? Also, just as I had good thoughts about Shenequa, a person that I was never romantically involved with; are there people I have interacted with in positive ways that was not romantic or sexual?
Unfortunately, we make incorrect assumptions about people of the opposite sex that we see together. Or we accuse people of sleeping their way to the top when we see people receiving promotions at work. In my opinion, too many of our assessments of ourselves and of others are tainted by our preoccupation with sex. When we go out on dates or when we see someone we think is attractive; we wonder if they are a great kisser or if they are good in bed. Instead of that, why not wonder if they are sincerely trying to grow spiritually? Or why not consider ways that we can help them grow in their relationship with God?
My prayer is that we will have the kinds of relationships with people that they think fondly of. I pray that we will not allow ourselves to be reduced to our sexual prowess or abilities to draw people of the opposite sex. God has made us so much more than that! My prayer is that you will be someone’s “Shenequa”.
I can imagine that many of you are automatically assuming that Shenequa and I had something going on. The truth is that she and I never dated nor did we have a romantic relationship. I met her about 10 years when I had my bookstore and she was a regular customer. I always thought she was cute, but since I was married at the time, I knew that nothing was ever going to happen.
After my divorce which was after I closed my store, Shenequa and I ran into each other. We talked on the phone a few times and shared a dinner or two. Our “relationship” consisted mostly of talking and probably lasted 2 or 3 weeks. It was during those few weeks that she took me to the park. A couple of years after that, our paths crossed and I learned then that she was getting married in the next few months. She has since moved away to another town.
Why do I share this with you? Because as I thought of Shenequa this past weekend, I remember our brief time fondly. This led me to wonder if there are people out there that would think of me in fond ways. Have I conducted myself in ways that left others feeling good about themselves? Also, just as I had good thoughts about Shenequa, a person that I was never romantically involved with; are there people I have interacted with in positive ways that was not romantic or sexual?
Unfortunately, we make incorrect assumptions about people of the opposite sex that we see together. Or we accuse people of sleeping their way to the top when we see people receiving promotions at work. In my opinion, too many of our assessments of ourselves and of others are tainted by our preoccupation with sex. When we go out on dates or when we see someone we think is attractive; we wonder if they are a great kisser or if they are good in bed. Instead of that, why not wonder if they are sincerely trying to grow spiritually? Or why not consider ways that we can help them grow in their relationship with God?
My prayer is that we will have the kinds of relationships with people that they think fondly of. I pray that we will not allow ourselves to be reduced to our sexual prowess or abilities to draw people of the opposite sex. God has made us so much more than that! My prayer is that you will be someone’s “Shenequa”.
Where God Doesn’t Go
I can hear you thinking, “There is not a place where God doesn’t go. He is everywhere. The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness therein.” Well, bear with me. I guess you are “technically” right, but hear me out!
Somewhere on this earth at the very moment you are reading this, there is a single person who is feeling very lonely. We often throw around the word “desperate” when referring to other singles, but there are many singles who desperately want someone to love and to return that love. Here desperate refers to the feeling of being tired of waiting when they are not sure what they are waiting for and if the very thing they are waiting for will ever happen.
Now you and I can talk until we are blue in the face about how God will sustain them. “Wait I say on the Lord….” (Feel free to quote whatever other scriptures may apply!!). But for these singles (and if we are honest, at times, WE are those singles), God is not what we are desperate for. We, I mean “they” want someone to hold them. They want to feel someone’s hands on the small of their backs or someone’s soft lips kissing their own. Be honest, there are some things we want where God will not just do!!
If you “feel me”, then you can better understand where it is that God does not go. We all KNOW (in our minds) that God is the ultimate source of our joy, but sometimes our hearts forget that important fact. We don’t like to admit it, but sometimes we feel like God ain’t showing anytime soon, so maybe a little human companionship will do.
The doorbell rings. The cell phone vibrates. Your computer alerts you that you have new email. Wouldn’t it be nice if the person behind those communications was our lover? I wonder how many of us would be disappointed if we found out that the person at the door or hitting us on our cell or sending us an email was God? (You don’t have to answer that!)
As Christian singles, we must be willing to go where God doesn’t go. When we encounter someone who is feeling lonely or depressed or frustrated; let’s be the physical manifestation of comfort and relief in their lives. We can give hugs without manipulating others into having sex. We can say “I Love You” without it being a trick to play with someone’s heart. We can even take someone out to lunch or to the movies without expecting “something” in return. When people we know are feeling down because of their singleness, they are not necessarily looking for God. Rather, a human face and a loving (non-sexual) touch will do.
By being in places where God doesn’t go, we can help to re-introduce someone to our Divine Father. They may not be expecting a reconnection with God, but if we show up with spiritual roses and candy; they may re-ignite the passion they have for God.
Because of who we are and our weaknesses, there are places that God does not go. That’s okay, because as His children, when we arrive, we bring Him along too.
Somewhere on this earth at the very moment you are reading this, there is a single person who is feeling very lonely. We often throw around the word “desperate” when referring to other singles, but there are many singles who desperately want someone to love and to return that love. Here desperate refers to the feeling of being tired of waiting when they are not sure what they are waiting for and if the very thing they are waiting for will ever happen.
Now you and I can talk until we are blue in the face about how God will sustain them. “Wait I say on the Lord….” (Feel free to quote whatever other scriptures may apply!!). But for these singles (and if we are honest, at times, WE are those singles), God is not what we are desperate for. We, I mean “they” want someone to hold them. They want to feel someone’s hands on the small of their backs or someone’s soft lips kissing their own. Be honest, there are some things we want where God will not just do!!
If you “feel me”, then you can better understand where it is that God does not go. We all KNOW (in our minds) that God is the ultimate source of our joy, but sometimes our hearts forget that important fact. We don’t like to admit it, but sometimes we feel like God ain’t showing anytime soon, so maybe a little human companionship will do.
The doorbell rings. The cell phone vibrates. Your computer alerts you that you have new email. Wouldn’t it be nice if the person behind those communications was our lover? I wonder how many of us would be disappointed if we found out that the person at the door or hitting us on our cell or sending us an email was God? (You don’t have to answer that!)
As Christian singles, we must be willing to go where God doesn’t go. When we encounter someone who is feeling lonely or depressed or frustrated; let’s be the physical manifestation of comfort and relief in their lives. We can give hugs without manipulating others into having sex. We can say “I Love You” without it being a trick to play with someone’s heart. We can even take someone out to lunch or to the movies without expecting “something” in return. When people we know are feeling down because of their singleness, they are not necessarily looking for God. Rather, a human face and a loving (non-sexual) touch will do.
By being in places where God doesn’t go, we can help to re-introduce someone to our Divine Father. They may not be expecting a reconnection with God, but if we show up with spiritual roses and candy; they may re-ignite the passion they have for God.
Because of who we are and our weaknesses, there are places that God does not go. That’s okay, because as His children, when we arrive, we bring Him along too.
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