I Like You Because I Trust God

You don't kmow me well enough.

Has anyone ever said that to you after you have expressed a romantic interest in them?

Here is my response to that.

I like you and I am interested in you because I trust God. Based on what little I know about you, I believe we are a good match for each other. But more importantly, I trust that God will let me know if what I THINK I see in you is incorrect. And so far, He has not sent any warning signs about you.

So the reason why I like you is because I trust God.

Thoughts of God and Thoughts of Her

Thoughts On God

I wonder what He is doing right now. Is He thinking of me? Would He be pleased with the things I am doing? Does He treasure our relationship as much as I do? Is He thinking of ways we can move our relationship forward? What are some possible ways I can let Him know that I care?

Thoughts On Her

I wonder what she is doing right now. Is she thinking of me? Would she be pleased with the things I am doing? Does she treasure our relationship as much as I do? Is she thinking of ways we can move our relationship forward? What are some possible ways I can let her know that I care?

My prayer today is that I will always find ways to ponder my relationship with God at least as much as I ponder a possible relationship with "her". May my thoughts of "her" always be accompanied by my thoughts of Him and may I never have one without the other.

Listen More, Talk Less

How many of us have described ourselves as good listeners?

But are we really? We all have strong opinions about a variety of subjects and we all want a chance to have our say. When someone is expressing their strong opinions, do we really listen to learn or are we listening in preparation for our rebuttal?

Or when someone is trying to explain why their day was so bad, do we listen with empathetic ears or are we silently thanking God that it is them and not us?

Most of us have a desire to be heard and a desire to say what is on our minds. However, I think true friendship is built on being able to listen properly more than saying things. As Christian singles, let's take the time to listen more and speak less. Our relationships, platonic, romantic, career related or otherwise, will be the better for it.

The Gift Of Time

Sometimes when we meet a person that we think may be "THE ONE", we try to rush things forward. When is the right time for our first hug? Our first touch? Our first kiss? Are we at a point where we can place a label on our relationship?

Usually, one person and/or the other in the relationship have been hurt and in the zeal to avoid future pain, they want to take things slow. While we may be tempted to get things moving a little quicker, if we are truly trying to express Godly love, then we should offer our prospective partner the gift of time. God did not rush when He created us, so what makes us think we know better than He in our relationships? Slow down and give the other person time to process their thoughts and feelings. Encourage them to ponder how a relationship with you will benefit them. If they are as spiritually grounded as you, God will also whisper words of encouragement on your behalf. And if the relationship is to be, then the foundation on which it rests will be more stable.

As the first token of your growing love for your prospective partner, give him or her the gift of time.

The Fear of Not Being Enough

Very few of us will actually admit that we have fears. But just between you and I, we all have them and they exert a greater influence than we want them to.

One such fear is the fear of not being enough. When we met someone, we are excited about the prospects of finally finding true love. But, because we have been hurt so many times before, we temper our excitement and we try to play it cool. The truth of the matter is our "coolness" is often a cover for our fear. In order to avoid being hurt again, we urge ourselves to be calm and to not go overboard. Additionally, when we meet someone who seems to meet many of our "standards", we fear that we may not measure up to theirs.

Fear is not always a bad thing. It can help us to focus our attention on those things that can potentially cause us harm. What makes our fears negative is when we allow it to make us see things that are really not there and this causes us to become "paralyzed". Bottome line, fear often causes us to act against our own best interests.

Today, let's name our fears and then face them. If we truly believe in an all powerful God, then what is out there that should cause us to be afraid? God made us and He has given us the capacity to grow, so let's overcome the fear of not being enough.

300 Million and Counting: Where You At?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, today (October 17, 2006) is the day the United States population will reach 300 million people. Is this a cause for celebration or worry?

What does this mean for Christian singles? It would be interesting to note how many of those 300 million are:

• True Christians (not just professing Christianity, but practicing it also)
• Single looking for love and marital bliss
• Single but too fed up with being hurt and games being played to look for love
• Single and happy about it to the extent you do not want to change your status quo

Whatever category you find yourself in, take the time to celebrate this population milestone but also to ponder where your place is in this growing sea of people. Are you living in such a way that you are having a positive impact on your circle of family, friends, co-workers, community and utlimately the world?

When it comes to your place in the world; where you at?

Let's step up to the challenge of making the most of our singleness not only for our benefit, but also for the good of those we interact with.

That's My Final (and Short) Answer

The more research I do for the books I write, the more I am convinced that there is a short answer for all of the problems we face. That should be good news to many of you who are looking for "short answers" to their challenges.

Godly love, people, that's my final (short) answer!

Godly love is not always the obvious answer to the questions or problems many Christian singles face:

• How can I live a celibate life in the face of so much sexual temptation?
• How can I keep from going off on my romantic partner who seems committed to breaking my heart?
• What do I do when I feel so lonely and isolated?
• Why can't I find someone special to love and eventually marry?
• Why do I always make bad choices when it comes to romance?

These and other questions beg practical answers or we may just lose our minds. What in the world does Godly love have to do them? Trust me, follow this pattern and allow God's love to work:

1. Love God with all of your heart, mind and soul.
2. Love yourself as God would have you to love yourself.
3. Love others as God would have you to love them.

That's it! What else are you looking for? If you want to find real practical answers to the challenges in your life, get out there and start putting into practice God's short and final answer.

Knowing Too Much About God

Can we really ever know too much about God?

Well, I guess not, but I do think we can ACT like we know too much about Him.

Specifically for Christian singles, how can we act like we know too much about God?

• By presuming His grace and mercy - Sometimes we almost dare God to not extend His grace and mercy. We are getting ready to do something we know is wrong, but we choose to do it anyway because we presume God's forgiveness.
• By doing the opposite of what we should do - Going to church is a prime example of this. Sometimes, we just make a decision to not go to church or pay tithes or even say hello because we don't want to. We claim that "God knows our heart" as if that excuses our behavior.
• By not being a living witness to God's goodness - Since we are so familiar with God, we just assume others are as well or we don't really care if they are or not. Thus we take proper advantage of sharing the good news of God's love with others. It's like winning a multi-million dollar lottery and keeping that news (and the money) to yourself. Now that is just selfish!

Starting today, let's start living like there is so much more to learn about God and it is partly our responsibility to educate others about Him also. By doing that, we can learn a thing or two about this magnificent God we serve.

Just Watch The Dog, Man!

The other day, a friend of mine asked me to babysit her dog for a few days while she attended an out of town conference. Now anyone that really knows me should realize that me and pets don't mix. This benign hostility I hold toward pets is strange given the fact that as a child growing up in New Jersey, we always had several dogs (all outside) that were part of our family. In fact, for some strange reason, my father appointed me as the official provider of food and water for the dogs. So, it would seem that I would LOVE pets, but that is not the case.

Anyway, my reluctance to care for her dog also highlights some lessons to learn about friendship.

• We cannot always pick HOW we are going to be a friend, sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone to help someone in need.
• Friendship is not about convenience. In fact, inconvenience is a test of how committed you are to being a friend.
• Friendships should not be based on our first impulse. For me, when I was asked to babysit her dog, my first impulse was "No Way!".
• Following the example set by God, we should not only love each other, but we should be willing to go out of our way to demonstrate our love. Trust me, babysitting that "thing" that goes by the name of Miles is REALLY going out of my way!
• Being a true friend also means being willing to ask for help. I do not know how many people my friend asked to babysit Miles before or after she approached me, but I like to think that one reason she asked me is because she considers me her friend. When we are in need, being a friend means to trust our friends enough to ask for their help

So many lessons from being asked to watch a dog for a couple of days! Wanna guess what I decided to do?

More Stuff, Less Connection

Okay, today is my day to gripe about something. Why is it that we are less connected when there is so much technological communications STUFF! To reach each other, we have:

• Telephone, land line and cell
• Email
• Instant messages
• Blue tooth (What the heck is that?)
• Postal mail
• Beepers (Do people still use them?)
• and many others I don't even know about

But, how often do we initiate or receive contact with people with the goal of truly connecting to them? Booty calls and hooking up, don't count, because they tend to be temporary. Pick up the phone! Email somebody! Blue tooth someone (if that is the correct phrase). And when you do reach the person, say something that will bring you genuinely closer.

God wants us to not just be aware of each other, but to connect. Make it a point of making someone smile today. Don't go to bed until you have uplifted someone who may down. Take proper advantage to witness about God's goodness.

Let's reverse the status quo of "more stuff, less connection".

Still Single Today? Try This.

I woke up this morning and discovered that I am still single! So now what do I do?

"Lord, help me to make the most of my singleness today. Help me to be a source of inspiration for your people. May I use the talents and abilities you have allowed me to acquire to uplift others. I ask you to help me to use my singleness to be a blessing to everyone I interact with, particularly other singles."

My goal for today: How can I use my singleness as a means to clarify the will of God to others?

Say My Name!!

Look around you. Do you see what I see? No matter if you view the glass as being half full or half empty, there is no denying that things are getting pretty bad out here.

What about you? If you are like me, you have good days and you have bad days. To be truthful, I have made some decisions that have resulted in some of my days turning negative. Yeah, other folks contributed to my tough times, but I have to take responsibility for my actions and choices.

So, can you do me a favor? When you pray, say a few words on my behalf. Now, don't just put me in one of your global prayers. I need alittle more attention than that. Take a little extra time to mention me specifically. All I am asking is that when you pray, say my name.

If we Christian singles did more spiritual name calling in our prayers, I am convinced that the glass will actually become more than half full.

You Can't Tell?

"May the life I live speak for me...."

I wonder how many of us Christian singles can accept the challenge implied in the above words to a song?

As we go about our business of living and breathing and relating, how different is our "living" from non-Christian singles?

• Are we engaging in sexually immoral activities as much as non-Christians and with as much defiance?
• Do we show a markedly higher level of GENUINE concern when people we know about and care for are suffering?
• Are we just as likely to "lay our religion down" and cut someone or cuss them out as people who have not claimed Jesus as their Lord and Savior?
• Do we abuse our bodies (aka our temples) through poor eating habits, lack of exercise and risky behaviors as much as others?

When you look at me and you observe my behavior and the quality of my relationships, do you have difficulty noticing how different I am from "the people of the world"? I take it as a personal challenge to be more like Christ in my singleness and less like those persons who have yet to accept Jesus as the head of their lives. My prayer is that you will step up and answer this challenge as well.

Yes, I am a saved Christian single. You don't have to ask it and I shouldn't have to say it with the words from my mouth. Look at my actions and decide from that if you can tell.