Thoughts of “Shenequa”

This past weekend, I went to one of the local parks to read a book. As I was walking back to my car, I remembered how I found out about this park. It was “Shenequa”! In case you haven’t figured it out, that is not her real name.

I can imagine that many of you are automatically assuming that Shenequa and I had something going on. The truth is that she and I never dated nor did we have a romantic relationship. I met her about 10 years when I had my bookstore and she was a regular customer. I always thought she was cute, but since I was married at the time, I knew that nothing was ever going to happen.

After my divorce which was after I closed my store, Shenequa and I ran into each other. We talked on the phone a few times and shared a dinner or two. Our “relationship” consisted mostly of talking and probably lasted 2 or 3 weeks. It was during those few weeks that she took me to the park. A couple of years after that, our paths crossed and I learned then that she was getting married in the next few months. She has since moved away to another town.

Why do I share this with you? Because as I thought of Shenequa this past weekend, I remember our brief time fondly. This led me to wonder if there are people out there that would think of me in fond ways. Have I conducted myself in ways that left others feeling good about themselves? Also, just as I had good thoughts about Shenequa, a person that I was never romantically involved with; are there people I have interacted with in positive ways that was not romantic or sexual?

Unfortunately, we make incorrect assumptions about people of the opposite sex that we see together. Or we accuse people of sleeping their way to the top when we see people receiving promotions at work. In my opinion, too many of our assessments of ourselves and of others are tainted by our preoccupation with sex. When we go out on dates or when we see someone we think is attractive; we wonder if they are a great kisser or if they are good in bed. Instead of that, why not wonder if they are sincerely trying to grow spiritually? Or why not consider ways that we can help them grow in their relationship with God?

My prayer is that we will have the kinds of relationships with people that they think fondly of. I pray that we will not allow ourselves to be reduced to our sexual prowess or abilities to draw people of the opposite sex. God has made us so much more than that! My prayer is that you will be someone’s “Shenequa”.