This Week In Review Saturday 2/17/07

On Sunday, I discussed how we sometimes have sex before we ask the questions that need to be addressed. When we do that, we open ourselves up to problems that we could have avoided. On Monday, my post was about how most of us desire for someone to know us intimately in every sense of the word, but we are not always spiritually prepared to exhibit fidelity, commitment and discipline to position ourselves for God to bless us beyond our expectations. On Wednesday, the topic was about the circumstances when being driven to distraction can be a good thing that may also lead to realization of meeting our soul mate. On Thursday, I posed some questions about why people have sex and ended that session with a prayer that all of us would grow in our understanding of how God would like for us to view this aspect of our makeup.

Below are some questions from comments you left this past week. Check out my responses.

“Can you have sex with your ‘friend’ and remain friends?” What we need to understand is that when we have sex outside of marriage, we are harming our partner and ourselves. If we truly loved our “friend” as God desires that we do, we would not bring harm to them. So the question should not be about remaining friends, but about what is God’s will AND what will not hurt us.

“Perhaps I sound a little bitter, but can we drop the ‘Valentine's Day’ Stuff?" As Christian singles that believe that God will answer our prayers for true romance, why would we NOT want to talk about Valentine’s Day?

“Okay, you really want to talk about sex?” It is my opinion that sex is the biggest challenge that Christian singles face. So many of us suffer or are currently struggling because of decisions we make concerning our sexuality. It is imperative that we discuss sex since it holds so much potential to harm us.

“Be honest, would you really go out with a woman who asked you out on a date? Has a woman ever asked you out and if so, what was the outcome?” Yes, if a woman asked me out and I thought our date was going to be interesting, I would go out with her. Yes, I have had women to ask me out. The outcomes have varied, but for me, dating is about getting and receiving information. So, any date is a potential learning experience.
In this day and time, men need to be open to women asking them out and women need to be open to making the first move in terms of asking for his number or asking him out. I cannot speak for other men, but I do not think any less of a woman who takes the initiative to get to know me and I do not make any prejudgments about them either. One of my objectives is to meet my soul mate; it does not matter to me who asks who first.

Introducing Jesus

At the end of Steve Harvey’s monologue, “Don’t Trip, He Ain’t Through With Me Yet”, he presents a scenario of how he would introduce Jesus. What a blessed opportunity to be able to announce the appearance of the Son of God! One could not help but experience a mixture of awe, nervousness, fear, pride and joy upon taking on this great task. Harvey’s version of this introduction started calmly but gradually increased in volume and excitement until his climatic praises was matched by the intensity of the audience’s thunderous applause. Only Jesus could get a standing ovation even before He appears on the stage.

For single Christians, we also have the opportunity to introduce Jesus. As great as He is, sometimes He can be presented through seemingly small acts of kindness or soothing whispers of concern. Many people claim to know Him, but very few really have a personal and intimate relationship with Him. But we really know Him, don’t we? Then let’s not shrink from the blessed opportunity to introduce to some and present to others this man called Jesus.

Our voices can be lifted in a passionate expression of praise as we describe our savior and friend. Our hearts may beat a little faster and our breath may get caught up in a whirlwind of emotion. Words may appear inadequate as we try to accurately portray the One responsible for saving our souls. While we recognize that we can never earn His love, we understand that we can try to live up to it. But how can we effectively introduce Jesus to a world desperately in need of His saving power?

Which version of Jesus do we portray to those we interact with?

• When we elevate our egos over the will of God, we present Jesus as our slave
• When we succumb to sexual temptation, we introduce Jesus as too weak to keep us from falling
• When we do more complaining about our circumstances than praising God for His providence, we show Jesus as being wimpy and whiny
• When we refuse to humble ourselves in a spirit of service to others, we demonstrate Jesus as being selfish
• When we are more intent on getting even than on forgiving others and turning the other cheek, we reveal Jesus as being petty
• When our behaviors our guided by worldly conventional wisdom at the expense of our spirituality, we display Jesus as being a fraud
• When we treat our ex-romantic partners as badly as they treated us, we exhibit Jesus as being vindictive
  
  

How is it that the Jesus we learned about in church is so different from the one we introduce in our daily actions, words and thoughts? Perhaps instead of presenting Him, we should apologize TO Him!

"Lord, we are sorry for portraying you in the wrong light. Please forgive us for presenting you as less than what you really are. Our lifestyles should proclaim your greatness, your graciousness, your unconditional love and your keeping power. But the things we do and the way we treat others makes you appear as somebody not worthy to be honored."

My prayer is that Christian singles will submit to God’s will and adopt the kind of lifestyle that will make for an introduction of Jesus that He would be proud of.

Solitude Is Not For Everyone

Because of God’s grace, there are some things He keeps us from having to go through that we are not able to handle. We may think we are as bad as we wanna be and nothing can get the best of us, but most of us are smart enough to know that we are not “all that”. We may never admit it, but there are some challenges or fears or people or whatever that we are no match for. Thank God for His keeping power!

I think solitude is one of those things that some people cannot handle. For those people, they would rather go to the dentist than have to deal with being alone. For these people, they will do all kinds of things to avoid the “curse” of being alone including staying in bad relationships, getting together with old boyfriends or girlfriends who they know are not good for them, wandering aimlessly around public places like the mall or clubs or joining organizations to just be around other people. Hey whatever works!

For me, I spend a lot of time by myself. I admit that it is not always something I voluntarily do, but that is the way things are for me. It’s kind of funny at times that people will not believe me when I say that I spend what I think are inordinate portions of my weekends and holidays alone. They assume that everybody has other people in their lives, but for me that has not been the case for quite some time.

Because I spend a lot of time alone, I spend much time thinking about me or more specifically, what things about me I should change or work on. I also think about what few special relationships I have and those other relationships that showed promised but never really materialized. As a writer, spending time alone has helped me to finish one more chapter, write one more essay and do more research. I thank God that although I am alone and I sometimes feel lonely (there is a difference!), I am able to stay focused on Him and on those things He wants me to do.

No, solitude is not for everyone. If that is not your struggle, then praise God. I pray that you will cherish the relationships you have with family, friends and romantic partners that keep you from being by yourself. If you struggle with solitude, my prayer is that God will help you rise above its clutches.

For all of us Christian singles, we should do what we can to help our fellow singles make it through their times of solitude. All it may take is a short email or a quick call or a genuine hug of affection or a little card sent through the mail to let someone know that they are not really secluded and that you care.

Solitude is not for everyone, but being a genuine friend can be.