You Better, Me Better

One of the goals I think everyone should have including Christian Singles is to live in such a way that the people we interact are "ENABLED" to be better people.

• We should submit to God's will and be willing to be His instruments of the fulfillment of His will in the lives of others
• We should pray for people we know and love by name and those prayers should relate to their specific circumstances
• We should love others as God loves us. God's love ALWAYS improves us and His love in us should do the same for others.
• We should trust God enough that our focus is on helping others without being distracted by trying to help ourselves. God helps those who help others.
• We should always be willing to put our love into action in a spirit of service. Let's stop expressing fake love and let's start expressing the REAL stuff!

By doing these things, we are positioning others to improve and become better. Forget all of that other stuff we have been taught about the goals of our relationships. If the people we interact with are not better after having been in a relationship with us, then how can we claim to be true children of God?

Holiday Break?

Just in case you didn't know, fat calories do not count during the holidays. So, you can eat, eat and eat some more without worrying about gaining weight or making yourself less healthy.

Here's the bad news. Sin still does count. We do not get any "free passes" on the wrong things we do just because it is the holiday season. Never forget that the things we do can cause people to feel hurt, bitter, angry, scared, ashamed or depressed. So let's be careful about what we say or do out there!

In fact, may I suggest that we try to be even more vigilant about doing the right things during this time of the year?

• Take the time to volunteer one morning or afternoon at The Salvation Army
• Take someone out to lunch or dinner who you know has had a rough time recently
• Put an extra five dollars in the offering basket at least once during the holiday season
• Commit a random act of kindness to someone without expecting anything in return
• Try to restore a relationship that went bad, even if it means you have to apologize for the part you played in its demise
• If you are dating someone, set aside a day where you cater to them and make them feel special

Here's hoping and praying that the calories don't add up and the "sins" don't accumulate during this holiday season.

Ask, Don't Command

Today, let's keep this simple. In our interactions with each other, let's stop demanding so much!! Who died and left us king or queen?

As we relate to our family members, friends, others singles, romantic partners or co-workers, let's concentrate more on how we can help them and less on how they can help us. And when we just HAVE to get a need or desire of ours met; ask, but don't command.

God is the only one who has the right and the ability to command us and even He asks us to follow His will. While we can appreciate a God that does not go around demanding stuff from us, we ought to show this appreciation by doing less commanding and more asking of each other. By staying humble, we make our singleness more enjoyable and stress free.

Is that too much to ASK?

It Ain't Smelly Feet!

We have things so twisted!!

For most of us, serving others is a sign of weaknesses. But we Christian singles are called to a life of service. Jesus gave us the example by washing his disciples' feet. (In those days, washing feet was a nasty job.) But Jesus, the exalted son of God washed his disciples' nasty, smelly feet!!

Who would have thought that being a Christian could be so nasty?

Well, we don't have to LITERALLY wash each others' feet, do we? No, but we should definitely have a spirit of service.

• What's wrong with offering to wash a friend's car while he or she studies for the upcoming exam?
• Wouldn't it be nice to help a friend move into a new house or apartment?
• When was the last time you volunteered to babysit a single mom's children so she could have a few hours to herself?
• Why do we cringe at the thought of fixing a plate of food and bringing it to our romantic partner?

These are examples of how we can serve and help to make other people's lives easier. So Christian singles, today is as good as any day to get out there and serve somebody in the spirit of Godly love. Besides, whatever way you choose to serve others, it can't be as bad as washing somebody's smelly feet!

When Does It Get Better?

We are all a part of something. We are members of families, churches, schools, places of business, social organizations and we are involved in a variety of relationships. God has charged us with making better those things, people and relationships that we are involved with.

When does it get better?

I hope that Christian singles are submitting themselves to the Holy Spirit to the extent that:

• Members of our families are clearer on God’s will for their lives
• Our platonic friends are increasingly becoming more emotionally, physically and spiritually healthy
• Our romantic partners are consistently growing toward their God-ordained potential
• Others in our social and career circles are better off for having us in their lives
  

It is a downright shame that people we know and/or care for are only experiencing positive changes in their lives AFTER we are gone. It is God’s will that we be part of the solutions in the circumstances of others and not part of the problem. God has promised to make things better for all of us. It is our choice as to the role we will play in the fulfillment of this promise. By being faithful to God’s calling in our lives, we single Christians can step forward when the question is asked; “When does it get better?”

Imbalanced

In honor of the new Martin Luther King, Jr Memorial....

I do not know if this is an original quote from Dr. King or if it should be attributed to someone else, but one of the things he said is, "There is some good in the worst of us and some bad in the best of us."

I encourage all Christian singles to make sure their lives are IMBALANCED! How and why?

How

• Acknowledge our imperfections
• Be willing to apologize when you are wrong
• Strive to become a better person
• Be the kind of person who enables others to become better (not by judging, but by example)

Why

• God's desire is that we exhibit more "good" qualities and work on erasing as many "bad" qualities
• Life is much more enjoyable when we are "good" with each other
• We all have enough problems and issues, so why add to them by being "bad"?
• In the short and long-term, we are responsible for the combination of goodness and badness (Is that a real word?)

Being "BALANCED" in the context of the above quote is not a good thing. Instead of leaning toward the "BAD" end of the scale, let's lean, lean, lean more to the other side.

Where Is Your Ripple?

We are all interconnected and that is not by accident. God created us with the capacity to affect and be affected by other people. Every action and each word causes a reaction in others. Sometimes those reactions are so small that they are barely noticeable. Other times, reactions are so large that they are as visible as the sun on a cloudless day. We live in a sea of existence that is constantly stirred by the ripple effects of the things we do and by the words we speak.

For single Christians, we should be mindful of the impact we have on those we interact with. It is not enough to say, “That was not my intention….”. What difference does it make if we do or say things that hurt when that affect was not our goal? The hurt is still there. Hiding behind our seemingly innocent aims is nothing but a weak excuse when the outcome of our behaviors or words bring anger, frustration, bitterness, fear or depression. Our goal should be to make sure our INTENTIONS as well as our WORDS and DEEDS reflect the positive effects of the Holy Spirit working in our lives.

Where is your ripple? I pray that your journey of singleness is one that brings healing not hurt, joy not sadness, light not darkness, growth not decline in the lives of those whose paths you cross.