My Prayer For You is For More Buckets!!

2007 is fast approaching and now is the time to prepare for its arrival. Are you ready for the blessings God has for you? I pray that you will have many buckets to capture each and every blessing that spills from God’s storehouse windows. This is one case when you cannot have too many buckets!

Chances are, you and I want the same things.

• To be in God’s will
• To be prosperous
• To be healthy
• To love and be loved
• To be affirmed
  
  

We want these things so badly that sometimes we can almost touch them, feel them, taste them and hold them. But so many of these things have eluded us at one time or another. Will this be the case in 2007?

My prayer for you is that if God must choose between us as to who will receive these things, that He will choose you. (See “My New Year’s Resolution” dated December 20, 2006) If one of us is to go through another year with their dreams unfulfilled, let that person will be me, not you. If only one of us will prosper in 2007, I ask God to let it be you. If He must choose between you and I as to who will find true love, then I defer to you.

May 2007 be the greatest year of your life, but not as great as the many years to come. My prayer for you today is that God will bless you beyond your expectations and that you will grow into more of what He has envisioned for you to become.

Now, go out there and get some more buckets!

My New Year's Resolution

It’s that time of year again! A time to reflect on another year almost past. A time to ponder what might have been and what should not have been.

This is also a time to look forward to another year of unrealized possibilities. What good things does the New Year have in store? What challenges will rise up? While we acknowledge the potential struggles, we most often expect (and hope for) the upcoming year to be “our year”.

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, we make promises to ourselves that we sincerely intend to keep at the time we make them. Lose a few pounds. Eat less. Exercise more. Start that business. Find true love. Lose “bad” love. We vow that next year this time, we will be able to reflect on the great strides we have made on staying true to our resolutions. But often, our resolutions end up being trampled on by our good intentions and shifting priorities.

My prayer for you is that whatever your New Year’s resolutions, you will keep them and that you will be a better person because of them.

For me, my resolution this year is not going to be about me. I often talk about a spirit of service that Christian singles should have. Sure I could stand to lose a few pounds. Most definitely I have books I want to publish and businesses I want to start. I am confident that those things will come to pass. However, my focus this year is on making a spirit of service my main trademark when it comes to my interactions with others. So, I will continue to pray for you by name. I will continue to offer encouraging words. I will not stop doing the things for you that I believe God wants me to do for you. But that is not all I resolve to do.

In 2007, my New Year’s resolution is to help at least five people achieve their dreams. There are people out there who have definite plans to accomplish and I want to do what I can to help them. If you have a goal that you have set, I am available to you. I will not impose myself on you by trying to shape your dream. Rather, if you come to me, I will do what I can to make your dreams a reality. So, if you believe I can help you get to wherever you are trying to go, come to me.

Between you, me and God’s purposeful will, 2007 can definitely be your year!

Introducing Jesus

At the end of Steve Harvey’s monologue, “Don’t Trip, He Ain’t Through With Me Yet”, he presents a scenario of how he would introduce Jesus. What a blessed opportunity to be able to announce the appearance of the Son of God! One could not help but experience a mixture of awe, nervousness, fear, pride and joy upon taking on this great task. Harvey’s version of this introduction started calmly but gradually increased in volume and excitement until his climatic praises was matched by the intensity of the audience’s thunderous applause. Only Jesus could get a standing ovation even before He appears on the stage.

For single Christians, we also have the opportunity to introduce Jesus. As great as He is, sometimes He can be presented through seemingly small acts of kindness or soothing whispers of concern. Many people claim to know Him, but very few really have a personal and intimate relationship with Him. But we really know Him, don’t we? Then let’s not shrink from the blessed opportunity to introduce to some and present to others this man called Jesus.

Our voices can be lifted in a passionate expression of praise as we describe our savior and friend. Our hearts may beat a little faster and our breath may get caught up in a whirlwind of emotion. Words may appear inadequate as we try to accurately portray the One responsible for saving our souls. While we recognize that we can never earn His love, we understand that we can try to live up to it. But how can we effectively introduce Jesus to a world desperately in need of His saving power?

Which version of Jesus do we portray to those we interact with?

• When we elevate our egos over the will of God, we present Jesus as our slave
• When we succumb to sexual temptation, we introduce Jesus as too weak to keep us from falling
• When we do more complaining about our circumstances than praising God for His providence, we show Jesus as being wimpy and whiny
• When we refuse to humble ourselves in a spirit of service to others, we demonstrate Jesus as being selfish
• When we are more intent on getting even than on forgiving others and turning the other cheek, we reveal Jesus as being petty
• When our behaviors our guided by worldly conventional wisdom at the expense of our spirituality, we display Jesus as being a fraud
• When we treat our ex-romantic partners as badly as they treated us, we exhibit Jesus as being vindictive
  
  

How is it that the Jesus we learned about in church is so different from the one we introduce in our daily actions, words and thoughts? Perhaps instead of presenting Him, we should apologize TO Him!

"Lord, we are sorry for portraying you in the wrong light. Please forgive us for presenting you as less than what you really are. Our lifestyles should proclaim your greatness, your graciousness, your unconditional love and your keeping power. But the things we do and the way we treat others makes you appear as somebody not worthy to be honored."

My prayer is that Christian singles will submit to God’s will and adopt the kind of lifestyle that will make for an introduction of Jesus that He would be proud of.

Solitude Is Not For Everyone

Because of God’s grace, there are some things He keeps us from having to go through that we are not able to handle. We may think we are as bad as we wanna be and nothing can get the best of us, but most of us are smart enough to know that we are not “all that”. We may never admit it, but there are some challenges or fears or people or whatever that we are no match for. Thank God for His keeping power!

I think solitude is one of those things that some people cannot handle. For those people, they would rather go to the dentist than have to deal with being alone. For these people, they will do all kinds of things to avoid the “curse” of being alone including staying in bad relationships, getting together with old boyfriends or girlfriends who they know are not good for them, wandering aimlessly around public places like the mall or clubs or joining organizations to just be around other people. Hey whatever works!

For me, I spend a lot of time by myself. I admit that it is not always something I voluntarily do, but that is the way things are for me. It’s kind of funny at times that people will not believe me when I say that I spend what I think are inordinate portions of my weekends and holidays alone. They assume that everybody has other people in their lives, but for me that has not been the case for quite some time.

Because I spend a lot of time alone, I spend much time thinking about me or more specifically, what things about me I should change or work on. I also think about what few special relationships I have and those other relationships that showed promised but never really materialized. As a writer, spending time alone has helped me to finish one more chapter, write one more essay and do more research. I thank God that although I am alone and I sometimes feel lonely (there is a difference!), I am able to stay focused on Him and on those things He wants me to do.

No, solitude is not for everyone. If that is not your struggle, then praise God. I pray that you will cherish the relationships you have with family, friends and romantic partners that keep you from being by yourself. If you struggle with solitude, my prayer is that God will help you rise above its clutches.

For all of us Christian singles, we should do what we can to help our fellow singles make it through their times of solitude. All it may take is a short email or a quick call or a genuine hug of affection or a little card sent through the mail to let someone know that they are not really secluded and that you care.

Solitude is not for everyone, but being a genuine friend can be.

Get It? Got It? Good! - DO MORE, Part V

The theme for this week is DO MORE. The challenge before us, if we choose to accept it, is to not settle for our current status, but strive to go beyond that. Some of us may say that enough is already being done and nothing else is left to do. Imagine if God had said that?

• "I created the world, what else do they want?"
• "I made mankind in my image, what else do they need?"
• "I have given them the capacity to grow and develop, what else are they looking for?"
• "I have loved them unconditionally, what else do they want me to do?"
  

But thankfully, He did not say those things. Rather, He chose to DO MORE. Get it, Got it, Good!

Back to the challenge. It's not like there are not any benefits to putting into practice the lessons of DO MORE. More fulfilling relationships is one key positive outcome we can look forward to. I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of being sick and tired of all of those relationships that left me feeling unfulfilled. So yes, I will take up the challenge to DO MORE. Prayerfully, I will develop relationships with other people of the same mindset. How about you?

Serve Me - DO MORE, Part IV

Why are so many of our relationships full of bitterness, frustration, anger, confusion or pain? The short answer is our pride! Our pride keeps us from:

• Making that call
• Saying we are sorry
• Opening our hearts
• Returning that call
• Telling someone that we love them
• Sending that email
• Buying that gift
• Taking that person out to dinner
• Asking that person for his or her number

It is a shame that we allow our egos to keep us from the many good things that life has to offer. Too many of us place a higher value on our egos than we do on our happiness. What a downright dirty shame!

Service is one of those things that most of us refuse to do. We view service as a sign of weakness or as something that makes us look stupid. What most of us do not realize is that service is an accurate barometer of the Godly love we possess. There is a direct relationship between the amount of Godly love we have and the quality of our spirit of service. Put more simply, the more we love, the more we will serve others. This truism applies to all of our relationships.

So, if you want to DO MORE in your relationship with me, then you must serve me. Even as I write this, I feel “funny” because service tends to make both the server and the person being served feel uncomfortable. Why? Without going into detail, our discomfort with service is also about our pride. We want healthy relationships, but we want to preserve our egos more.

When you serve me, you are demonstrating your level of love for me. If you put more effort in telling me how you will NOT serve me, then you are showing me how shallow your love is. There is no getting around it, Christian singles should serve others more.

In our relationship, as you are serving me, I should be serving you. It is not about keeping score or only serving when being served. Service is something we should offer regardless of what the other person is doing. Healthy relationships are built on mutual service and we all have the right to redefine relationships that do not have this balance. Service is something that we should always offer, but the more intimate the relationship, the more intense the level of service.

So, to DO MORE in our relationships, we have to stop letting our egos mess things up. Aren’t we tired of being involved in interactions with people that leave us tired, frustrated, confused, hurt, embarrassed or angry? That ain’t nothing (apologies to all of my English teachers) but our pride! I pray that all of us will drop-kick pride out of our relationships and learn the blessed benefits of exhibiting a genuine spirit of service.

Get Me (DO MORE, Part III)

Continuing in the mode of my last two posts, I want to talk about how I think we can DO MORE in our relationships. As we look around, all of us either are experiencing or can see others who are experiencing relationships that are not mutually beneficial to the persons involved. A major reason I perceive for this is that many of us are focused on the wrong side of “getting”. We are trying to get love, get revenge, get healed, get sex, get rich, get on top, get over or get by. Each of those “gets” are about you. I know for me and it is probably the same for you, when it comes to platonic, familial or romantic relationships, I want you to GET ME.

Yesterday, I talked about doing a better job of expressing my needs. While my main focus will continue to be on fulfilling your needs, I do need to set aside some of my time and energies to communicate what my needs are. (My opinion is that the split should be 80% focus on you and 20% on me.) If I better communicate what my necessities are, then you will be better positioned to GET ME. What do I mean by GET ME?

• First of all, you have to possess a DESIRE to want to understand me. If you do not have that desire, then we cannot have a healthy relationship.
• Listen to me for understanding when I talk, not to accumulate fodder for arguments.
• Ask me questions about what I have said for the sake of understanding, not debate.
• Don’t put me in a conceptual box based on your experiences. Rather, be open to letting me be what I am.
• Pray that God will reveal Himself to me.
• Pray that God will use you to reveal Himself to me.
• Be willing to serve me in a spirit of Godly love. (Remember, Godly love ALWAYS looks out for what is best for the other person.)
• Don’t view me as a challenge to be overcome, but as another of God’s creations to be loved and honored.
• Don’t limit your thoughts of me to what I can do for you. Let me focus on what I can do for you.
  
  

In my desire to have a positive and healthy relationship with you, I will be doing all of the above for you. In other words, I will be working on GETTING YOU as you will be working on GETTING ME. If we stay true to the notion of GET ME, we will have more satisfying and fulfilling relationships. We both will be affirmed and empowered to be more like what God has envisioned for us to be. Our lives will be enhanced by the very real prospect of being able to DO MORE.