Too Honest?

Interacting with people is more of an art than a science. And the more potentially intimate that relationship; the more treacherous the path. Hence, the saying that those you love the most are the ones who can hurt you the most. But the real question is “Are you willing to risk being hurt if it means the possibility of finding true love is at hand?”

When it comes to romantic relationships; I think it is helpful if we think of dating as the gathering and sharing of information. Often, we put too much pressure on ourselves because we have a specific objective in mind when it comes to our dating activities. “Should I ask her for her number and risk her saying no?” “Should I accept his proposal to go to the movies and risk not having a good time?” “Should I even bother with dating if it means I might get my heart broken?” If you insist on making the goal of getting a boyfriend or girlfriend your only objective, then the answer to the above questions should be no.

On the other hand; if you value the sharing and acquiring of information, then dating is right for you. Granted, the information you receive may not be what you want to learn about someone. It is possible you may find out that he or she is not really into you. Or you may discover that he or she is not really compatible with you. Or you may realize that you are not able to measure up to his or her standards. These “facts” may not be desirable, but they are good things for you to know.

In our zeal to get to know someone, we feel the urge to divulge a lot about ourselves. We want him or her to love us as much as we sense we are beginning to love them. When we talk and we share with them our expectations; we hope two things will occur. They will share information about themselves with us and they will start to like us. But sometimes instead of love, we get a form of dislike in exchange for information we disbursed. Is that pleasant? No. Is that good? Yes.

So, can we be too honest? I don’t think so. Our timing can be off, but it is always better to deal with truth than with something less than the truth. It may make sense to wait until a few outings after the first date to disclose certain information. But in my opinion, it is never good to forever withhold vital facts about ourselves from those we are interested in.

What if he or she leaves me? What do I do if he or she no longer wants to be with me? Those are good questions and I think a good answer is that it is better to deal with the knowledge of not having someone in your life that does not want to be with you than it is to not be aware of their lack of interest or compatibility. The sooner you know that he or she is not going to stick around, the sooner you can move past the hurt and proceed to what God has in store for you.

Tomorrow’s Post: Too Busy?