Maybe I'm watching too much tv or reading too many books, but they all seem to remind me of my truly single status. What does "truly single" mean? It means that not only am I unmarried, I am also not seeing or dating someone.
You want to know one of the things I really miss when I am truly single? The closeness. I miss having my face mere inches from her face, our noses almost touching. I feel her breath in my face and I can almost see the words as they float out of her mouth. Being that close may mean we will kiss or it may not. Just being able to be that close with someone I am attracted to and also she doesn't mind me being all up in her face. Remember what it's like to be close enough to someone that you feel their heart beat or you can sense their slightest movement? Our eyelashes compete for limited space as we look into each other's eyes and the world seems to no longer exist. Wow, it really doesn't get any better than that!
Usually at this point in a post, I try to link what I've said to a spiritual lesson or point. Well not tonight! Sometimes we just need to acknowledge what we are feeling whether it is "spiritual" or not. Often when we are honest with ourselves and we stop hiding behind our false sense of piety, we will find that owning up to our true feelings can indeed have a spiritual benefit. Well looka there, I found a way to slip in something spiritual anyhow!
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Our lives are a mosaic of minutes that graduate to hours and then to days and eventually get defined as a lifetime. One moment our singleness is full of joy and promise. Other times, our singleness is burdened with more questions than answers, more tears than laughter and more frustrations than promises. Will we be faithful to God or won't we? God awaits our repeated responses to that question. How we respond is the background music to our moments of singleness.
4 comments:
Kevin,
In my "truly single" status, I not only miss the closeness. I miss knowing that that person is there for me come hell or high water.
Its one thing to have friends that are there to hear you or just be there. But when there is that special person in your life, you know that when you are wrong they are going to tell you, but they are with you. When you are down to your last, they are with you.
When you are on top of the world, they are there. I miss that. The talking when there really isn't much to talk about. Just being in the same room and saying nothing. Grocery shopping and being silly, holding hands up and down the isles. I miss that. Being 50 and acting 20 ; ) Man do I miss that.
But the good part is. If I never do it again, I can remember that I did it then and appreciate the fact that I had the chance to do it and that is what makes it all worth while. Yes, I am "truly single", but I remember when.
LBJ"s"
Kevin,
I miss that part of being single too but, I can’t change it at this point so I have selected to spend my time in a spiritual love affair otherwise I could really find myself in a place I don’t want to be (separated from God).
The funny thing about those feelings I have not a clue as to how to make them disappear or to be honest how to deal with them… there is no substitute for those feelings, so what is a single girl to do?
Before you get started stop the spiritual speech; never mind reminding me to stay in the word.
Anyway I am doing all that so perhaps you are able to offer some additional advice…
This time of year for me it is especially hard because you realize no matter how much you buy and how much you do; you can never have that certain person in your face, finish sentence for each other or all that stuff you have mention in this blog, and it is not about receiving gifts either because I can certainly buy my own gifts, wrap my own gifts and address them to me but that does not change that lonely feeling…What do the lonely do at Christmas?
Merry Christmas
Dear Anonymous,
You missed the point if you think I am going to tell you to "stay in the word". When people say that, I believe they are only trying to distract you from what you are truly feeling. It's sort of like we turn to God as a second choice. God deserves to be our first choice and He can be while we still desire someone special in our lives. So don't fall for those people whose advice is to distract you. Like I said in my original post, acknowledge our feelings and leave it at that.
KEVIN
Hi Kevin,
I did not mean "you" as in Kevin but as in those who have given me this advice so many times when I have shared my feelings...believe me I acknowledge those feelings are there and I have no choice but to leave it at that.
Thanks for the advice...
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