As Christian singles, I think many of us put the cart before the horse. This analogy is helpful because how silly and impractical would it be for us to expect the cart to pull the horse? If we saw someone trying to do this, we would remind him or her they need to put things in the proper order. That only makes sense, doesn’t it?
There have been many instances where people have told me that whatever activities I am involved with are great opportunities to find a date:
- Attending service at my home church where so many so-called eligible and “good” women worship
- Hosting a book-signing event
- Helping out periodically with Children’s Church
- Going to a restaurant alone with a book in hand to read while I am eating
- Making entries into my blog
Am I missing something or what? Using the examples above let me share with you what I am thinking:
- Attending church - I am going to get the Word and to fellow with fellow Christians
- Book-signing event - I am trying to market my book and to share my message
- Children’s Church - I like kids and want to help shape them
- Eating out alone - I enjoy eating at restaurants while reading a good book
- Blog - I want to establish a dialog with other Christian singles about being single from a spiritual perspective
When I do the things I do, I do them with the hope of being consistent with what God’s will and purpose is for me. I help people when I can. I try to share encouraging words when people need to be uplifted. I desire to perform various acts of community service. I try to treat people in ways that God would approve and say things that I believe He would want me to say. As I interact with people in all kinds of situations, I try to keep my personal objectives on the back burner. All of us need the support, prayers and encouragement of each other and my opinion is we should not mess things up by trying to make “dating opportunities” out of “ministering opportunities”.
Getting back to the statement in my first paragraph, I want to find a good woman for me. I cannot and feel no reason to try and deny that. But, my major focus is on doing what I believe God wants me to do. My belief is that if I am faithful to Him, He will honor my request to find a Godly woman as a mate that is right for me. So while it may appear that I am blowing “dating opportunities”, I am putting all of my eggs of hopefulness into God’s faithfulness. To me, having that kind of perspective is like putting the horse before the cart!! I am convinced that this is the way it is supposed to be.
4 comments:
In response to your comments, it is not a matter of not doing God's will or putting your personal perspectives on the back burner. When you are doing God's will He will place that individual in your life. You may be at your "Book Signing" and that "person" may just so happen to be there. You could be shaping some young person's mind and look up and that "person" is there. Just as you are in church receiving the word and worshiping Him, that "person" could be right there under your nose and you in your closed up way of thinking, you don't see it.
So it's not that you go out looking for that person, you listen at what God is telling you or even showing you.
It's like the man who was in the flood sitting on the roof of his house say that God was going to save him. Everytime someone came by to help him, he kept saying that God was going to save him.
The man died and he asked God why didn't he save him? God reminded him of the help that came his way.
God send's you what you need, but it is up to you to accept what he sends. In all shapes and sizes too!
Dear Anonymous,
Thanks for your comments and I agree with the spirit behind your statements. However, many singles actually violate that spirit. By violation, I mean they are more interested in finding a man or woman than on performing the ministry to which they have been called. In fact, the "ministry" is just a front for them to achieve their objectives. So going back to the analogy of putting the cart before the horse, they say all the right things and even do the right things, but it is done for the wrong reason. That reason being to find a mate.
My hope is that Christian singles will put God's will first, the interests of others second and then their needs last. As long as we keep things in that order, then we will not run the risk of turing "ministering opportunities" to "dating opportunities". There are too many people who need what God is asking us to deliver for us to focus on our selfish interests at their expense.
The following is an edited comment from a reader. Certain items have been changed or modified to protect the identity of the person making the original comment. (KEVIN)
"Dating Opportunities!" (January 24, 2006)
I must agree with you on doing and saying the right things for the wrong reasons. Everyone is not "spiritual". Being single puts you into a category in which we try to enjoy life to its fullest. But everyone does not want to stay in this category. And yes, we look at every opportunity as possibilities to get out of this category. We go to church to fulfill our spiritual needs and there is always the hope that we will be blessed with that "special" person. When we get together with other members of any ministry for a meeting, dinner or even a movie as a group, we may be thinking that even though we are ministering that something can come out of that.
Men have all the options. They can pick and choose. We women are like flowers waiting to be picked from a garden. We shine in all God's glory just enjoying life. If we get the chance, then we get picked. If we don’t get picked, then we whither away. So women can go about God's business and still hold inside that they just wait and hope that one-day it will happen. If not, we can’t stop living and we can’t stop praying.
Anonymous
The following is an edited comment from a reader. Certain items have been changed or modified to protect the identity of the person making the original comment. (KEVIN)
"Dating Opportunities!" (January 24, 2006)
Mr. Writer, Great advice and just on time...I certainly agree through stumbling and falling then getting back up again that all “opportunities are God’s”. I am so grateful that God is a forgiving and all-knowing God who does not treat us as we deserve when we try to rush His plan for our lives.
I don’t know about you but I am so grateful He is able to look beyond my faults and see my every need and He does not judge me for my actions as man does. Finding the right person for me would be great but truly finding contentment and rest in Him is a far greater gift at the moment.
My journey as a single Christian has been awesome but lonely in many ways. By choice, I spend a lot of time alone because I feel like when it comes to Christ, I am the only one who gets it (smile). The last place I am looking for a “dating opportunity” is in my house of worship or while doing a task God has charged me with. I feel God is in charge of all opportunities. They occur in His time and He knows what time is best for me. Never close or be a closed door because this is what makes us all an "opportunity of Christ". You may be that only Jesus that lost soul knows. Continue to keep me in your prayers…. M
Post a Comment