When it comes to our priorities, most of have two lists. One list consists of those things we want others to think we value highly. For Christian singles, this may include notions like spiritual growth, being nice to others, not talking negatively about others and making God’s will THE primary will in our lives. The other list is the one we do not like to talk about. This list contains the “real” things we regard highly. Some examples of items that appear on this secret or private list of priorities are: our need for people to like us, our overwhelming desire for sexual fulfillment, our goals of intimidating or manipulating others to get what we want or our need to win at all costs. This second list is the one we would rather just keep to ourselves and we hope no one ever discovers our “real” main concerns.
But for us Christian singles, when will our “real” main thing coincide with the REAL main thing? It is unfortunate that many of us are living a divided or even conflicting life because of our dual allegiance to the “isness” and “oughtness” of our priorities. The Holy Spirit constantly reminds of what our main objectives SHOULD be while also convicting us of what our main objectives actually ARE. If we get past the guilt and shame and learn what the Spirit is trying to teach us, the “isness’ stuff will get smaller while its “oughtness” counterpart will become more prominent.
In our relationships with each other, we sometimes create conflicts and discord because of the clashing of our respective dual lists that we are trying to reconcile. But, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, that stuff does not mix! Our fears of rejection and of not being enough as well as our egos cause us to stubbornly insist that others accept our “IS” and our “OUGHT” priorities. Yet we tenaciously refuse to accommodate their double main concerns.
Want to have better relationships? Then simplify things by keeping the main thing as THE MAIN thing. Don’t just hear what the Holy Spirit has to say concerning your two lists of priorities, do what you are being spiritually led to do. If you are like me, you are tired of platonic and romantic relationships that never fully reach their potential and that end prematurely leaving us feeling cheated, guilty, bitter and unfulfilled. You mean our relationships don’t have to be our main source of pain and stress in our lives? Yes, that is exactly what I am saying if we can grow in our ability to recognize God’s flashing neon signs illuminating our minds as to what is the MAIN THING.
Tomorrow’s Post: If You Want Me….
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1 comment:
Mr. Writer,
WOW...Great post!
I knew when I accepted Christ it was one of the best decisions I would ever make in my life, it was also one of the biggest mistakes I had ever made. By this I mean I would have to give up my culture, gender and my rights. I would no longer be allowed to speak for myself but I had just become a spoke person for Christ and I was now accountable to Him. My first and only priority (the main thing) should be Him and by no means am I saying I get it right all the time but when this happens I have been given the gift of the Holy Ghost to remind and assist me in what is really important.
I am only able to speak for myself when I state at times my priorities get mixed up when I am out of His will. The biggest “isness” I struggle with as a Christian is “the need to be needed” and because of this my “oughtness” gets pushed aside. When I place my will above His will this is where that private list of priorities surface and I tend to use my gender to manipulate or my rights to get my way. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit reminds me that I am in Christ therefore I have no gender and I have given up my rights…for “the real main thing”...
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