Why Are You Single? - Clueless Clichés?

Do you know why you are single? For some, the answer may seem obvious. For others, the correct response may not be as apparent. I suspect that the answer changes over time. Or maybe the real truth is that there is no one cause of your singleness. Also, the answer depends on who is asking and your interpretation of why they want to know.

Clichés are popular sayings that masquerade as solid truths. Sometimes, we run to our closet of trite mottos to try to address the question of why we are single. But more often than not, we come up short. The cliché may numb us for the moment, but the frustration associated with our inability to come up with a complete answer is just another thought away.

• I can do bad all by myself - This is partially true, but misleading. The real truth is that we can actually do much worse by ourselves than we can with the support, love and friendship of others. How many times has a friend talked us out of slashing the ex’s tires or quitting that job or “back slapping” that nosy gossiper? Most of us can recall how a romantic partner helped to talk us off the edge or restore some sanity to an otherwise crazy day. Thank God they were there, because without them, things would not have only turned out bad, but even worse.
• Sex between two unmarried consenting adults is okay - From a spiritual sense, sex outside of marriage is harmful spiritually, physically and emotionally. How many times has our seemingly good relationships descended into a pit of emotional emptiness or intense feelings of suspicions or become engulfed in the powerful grips of our fears? For many Christian singles, pre-marital sex is like playing with live dynamite. Sooner or later, it will explode and just make a mess of things. The resulting "mess" often delays or prevents us from finding our soul mate.
• There are no good wo/men around - Does this mean that everyone who is not married are “not good”? Certainly not. There are many good men and even more good women who would be good spouses. It may SEEM like there are not enough good men or good women, but the real problem is our warped values and our lack of reliance on God’s standards. It may be difficult to admit, but when we focus on others as the blame for our singleness, we are falsely letting ourselves off the hook. Our attempts at not owning up to our responsibility actually makes it more difficult to find our special romantic partner.
  
  

There are many more clichés out there that singles may try to slap on some rose colored paint to make it look like a real answer, but the point is that most of us are clueless about why we are not married. So, as you ponder this post, don’t focus on the three above clichés. Rather, try to center your thoughts instead on those instances that you blamed everyone else, including God and not yourself for your singleness. Anytime we look outward instead of inward, we add more obstacles blocking our way toward the land of matrimony. Why are you still single? The next time you are faced with answering that question, start of with “I” instead of “They” or “Them”. When you begin looking at yourself, you are providing evidence that you are starting to get a clue.

Tomorrow’s Post - Why Are You Single? - Oh, Really?