Why Are You Single? - Did I Do That?

As we deal with trying to identify the reasons why we are single, we can experience a mixture of emotions. Sometimes we feel guilty because we know there are some things we should have done differently. Other times we feel bitter or angry because we believe that factors outside of our control knocked us off the path to marriage. There are times when we feel nonchalant about our single status and we get tired of discussing it or thinking about it.

But try as we may, there is no getting around it. Surely as the sun will rise tomorrow, we will be faced with trying to come up with explanations as to why we are single. Are we ready? Is today the absolutely worst day to deal with this question? Would you rather have your teeth pulled than have to think about the causes of your singleness?

In a previous post, I wrote about how we sometimes try to blame God for our singleness even as we know that He is not the real culprit. But He is as good as any target, isn’t He? Most of us will deny pointing the finger of accusation of God and many of us will resist to the death the notion that we are laying blame at the feet of the Almighty. But the truth is sometimes in our false piety or out of a sense of desperation; we secretly harbor thoughts of condemnation about God’s role in keeping us from getting married.

But, let’s cut to the chase here. It’s not God’s fault and while others may have played a part, they are not the main reason why we are single. Spiritually speaking, it is God’s will that most of us get married. It is His will that we reap all of the benefits that a spiritually sanctioned marriage has to offer. Then what is the problem? If God has ordained it, then it is a done deal, right?

Although God has willed marriage for us, many of us have rejected that path and that has kept us on the path of singleness. Did I do that? That is the question we should be asking ourselves as we try to understand what the heck happened to God’s promise of marriage? Maybe we played around too much. Maybe we carelessly broke too many hearts. Maybe we focused on too many of the wrong things. Maybe we couldn’t recognize a potentially good spouse for us if they were staring right in our faces. The painful response to this question is, “Yes, I did do that.” We all have to admit about ourselves that “I did mess up” or “I did not have enough patience or faith” or “I did rely on my own might at the expense of God’s purpose” or “I did allow my ego or fears to knock me off-track.”

“Lord, okay I admit it. I really messed things up and now I am looking for you to bless me anyhow. Help me to learn from my mistakes and help me to get back to where you have envisioned me to be. I am open to what your will is for my life and I will listen when you are speaking. Help me to recognize my role in the causes of my singleness and empower me to grow in such a way that I will be able to receive all of the blessings you have ordained. Help me to NOT be my worst enemy when it comes to the good things you have planned for me.”

Tomorrow’s Post - So Kevin, Why are YOU Single?