Okay Mr. “Look at Singleness From A Spiritual Perspective”, you write all this stuff about how we should address the question of why we are single. What about you? Why are YOU single?
Well, I am glad you asked. I think there are two main reasons why I am not married today. The first reason deals with the impact of decisions I have made. There are some things I have done many years ago, which are impacting my life even now. I believe that God’s plan was for me to be married in my late twenties and in fact, I did get married around that age. But, I chose a path to marriage that was different from the path that God wanted me to take. Consequently, my marriage did not last. I still believe that marriage is part of God’s plan for me, but because of my past actions and decisions, I am left with taking the more difficult path to the land of matrimony.
Second, the reason why I am not married today is I have yet to find someone who really GETS or understands me. Note there is a difference from WANTING to get to know someone and ACTUALLY getting to know someone. In my life, I have had people that fell into the WANT category, but not the ACTUAL. The way I know people are not “getting” me is by their assumptions about me and their reactions to me. I have had people tell me their interpretations of my motives behind my actions and they have been way off. In essence, they are seeing me through their version of me, but not really seeing ME. The woman I marry is the one I am convinced really understands me.
What is it that you want other singles to get from your response to the above question?
The first thing I want to say is what people should NOT do in response to my above answer. Many people will feel compelled to comment on my situation. To do that is a waste of their time and it demonstrates that they did not get the point. The main point from my above answer is that we should look at ourselves and really work at finding responsible answers to why we are single. By doing a comprehensive spiritual and emotional self-examination, each person can learn something about themselves and get a glimpse of God’s will for them.
Any final comment?
Trying to answer the question of why we are single can be painful and quite unpleasant at times. But on the other side of the struggle, God has a blessing that will keep multiplying into even more blessings. My prayer is that Christian singles everywhere will position themselves to receive ALL of the blessings that God has for them.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Kevin,
As you probably have already figured out this subject deeply disturbs me to point of not being able to sleep but, I refuse to close the door to what you call one of “God’s blessings”...In order to enjoy the fullness of the blessings of that special someone you would need to be married...As the bible said, "for it is better to marry than to burn."
I must commend you for being open and honest. Thank you for sharing the reason you are still single.
I assure you I have continuously taken inventory of my life and came up empty…I never thought I wanted to be married until a few years ago but the person which I felt was the “one” passed away in 2006…so I guess I don’t know what God has planned for my life after all.
I do believe we can miss our window of opportunity and I can only speculate that is what happened with me. I will continue to pray God will fill me with his love and remove the emptiness caused by loneliness; and the desire to be needed…Today I am single and tomorrow I am going to be single so I need to get over it and realize it is not about me but about Him.
Again, thank you for making the sacrifice to share a part of you with the hopes of helping someone else.
Mr. Writer
I commend you for sharing your thoughts as to why you believe you are still single. You ask that we not comment on the reason you feel you are single and I am going to honor your request.
I feel my singleness is not about me and I refuse to make it about me…what God has for me it is for me and because I know he will give me the desires of my heart…I will not settle for less!
I will continue to celebrate and help those who seek and find the answer(s) to the reason they are single but, because this topic takes me to a dark place in my life I don’t want to be; I am not going to dwell on the reason for my singleness…
New Flash! Just trying to build relationships to the point of simply making friends seems to be too much trouble so I just want to be content with whatever life throws at me even if it means being single for the rest of my life…Could you please tell me how to learn to be content in every situation?
I pray the Lord will take this cup of loneliness away from me …fore I know there is a difference between being alone and being lonely…and I am ok with being alone, I don’t mind going out to eat, or going to the movies alone because I cannot let me being single consume me.
Good opening. The only comment I can make on your statement is:
You are a complex person. That ocean that seems so calm on the surface. But lying underneath that calm surface is a whole world of depth. There is wisdom beyond your age, a wealth of knowledge and pure, unconditional love and concern. I don't believe there is a selfish bone in your body.
Me on the other hand:
Everything about me is on the surface. You see it in my face and hear it in my voice. I have cared for others it seems like forever and now I want the caring to be about me. And sometimes that feels selfish.
There are days I long to be married and days I feel why bother.
When I go out and see couples young and old "holding hands", smiling and just enjoying each other, I feel as if I am missing the best part of life. That's painful. To think that I will not know what it is to have someone look at me, want to walk down the streets holding my hand, or sharing God's word with me, or to just grow old with is not a good feeling at all.
I ask myself what have I done wrong or doing wrong or maybe, it's just not meant to be.
So instead of getting caught up in feeling depressed or angry for not having what I see others have, I close out those feelings and try to enjoy what I do have. It's not easy. But the more I do it(shut out those feelings), the better I become at masking the real hurt.
It's painful to love and want and not have it returned the way you really want it. So you accept life and move on.
I am selfish, because I want the love and caring to be given to me as I had given before.
I am fearful that that will never happen and I will grow old alone with my four legged cat.
I know God has a plan for me and I will continue going each day as it unfolds.
I pray that I have not blocked the blessing He has for me. Or even closed the door on that blessing.
I am here reaching out, where is that hand on the other side?
I want to agree with favoredandblest.
Just trying to get out there and just make friends is a job. You have to work at it. And then you don't know if they are for real or not. You know in your heart that you are sincere, but whose to say that the other person is or don't have a hidden agenda. We aren't talking romantic here, just friendship. That is most definatly a "news flash".
Post a Comment