Nope, That Still Ain’t God In Her Eyes!!

The stereotype is that most men look at women as just a piece of meat. That may or may not be true, but most of us (men and women) look at each other as objects to fulfill our desires and needs. This extends beyond just sexual activities. For example, some of us have been so beaten up by life that we need or crave ego boosters. Unhealthy expressions of this need result in physical, verbal or psychological abuse or episodes of violent dominance or unconstructive criticisms. In short, we often “use” others to “fix” something that is wrong with us.

So when I look at “her”, here is what I see: (“Her” represents everyone and not just one particular person.)

• Hope - A hope that I can be what she wants or needs to be. But that may not be what I am.
• Fear - A fear that I will not be what she wants or needs me to be. Or she fears that I will be like someone or something that hurt her in her past.
• Ego - A desire for me to make her feel good about what or who she thinks she is. Whether it is to feel sexy or attractive or smart or successful or intimidating or rich or spiritual, she is looking for validation from me. But I have a spiritual obligation to accept and deal with the true you. Only true and lasting validation can come from God.
• Lust - A desire that I will quench those sexual fires burning within. But, after the fires have been put out (for now), will you be closer to God or even to me?
• Frustration - Life has consistently dealt her a bad hand and so many people have let her down. She feels like she needs me to be a good thing or person in her life. But did not Jesus say that there is none good but the Father?
• Piety - She knows that God should be the head of her life, but she knows that God has to share authority with her other rulers (hopes, fears, ego, etc.). She hopes that I can give her a sense of spiritual validity. But that is not something I can give.
  

The problem with a woman not having God in her eyes is this; the relationships (romantic, platonic, with co-workers, family members or associates) are going to be unstable like a house built on sand. When we connect with each other with the (often unspoken) hope or need to have that person "fix" something in us, our relationship is starting off on the wrong foot and is almost doomed to not reach its potential. The things I have listed above are things I see often in my interactions with people, so I strongly encourage you to be honest with yourself to discover the "gunk" you need to get out of your eyes.

Tomorrow’s Post: What God In Her Eyes Look Like