We may wonder why even bother with trying to establish new relationships or resurrect old ones? Our lives may not be perfect, but we have learned to live with the challenges we have. So what if I never find true love? Who cares if I only have a few friends that I can truly count on? What’s the big deal if I never speak to that ex-friend or ex-romantic partner who callously ended our relationship?
That same ole, same ole relationship is looking good right now, isn’t it?
Let’s look at a hypothetical example. Suppose I dated a lady and it seemed like we were really into each other. Then she cheated on me with my best friend and showed no remorse when I confronted her. To make things worse, suppose she left me to continue her relationship with my friend and made no effort to restore our relationship.
In that example, it is obvious that I have a negative relationship with her after all that we have gone through. But, I have a choice as to how I deal with my relationship with her. I can leave things as they are. Or I can try to re-establish some kind of a positive connection. (Not necessarily a romantic relationship, but at least one where we can be genuinely civil to each other.) As a Christian single, I should not settle for the same ole, same ole. I may not ever have her as a girl friend, but I can try to have her as a platonic friend.
I can hear you saying that I cannot control the ex-girlfriend. If she does not want to re-establish a positive connection with me, then there is nothing I can do. But is that really true? I can try and that is where my responsibility lies.
Why would I even bother to become friends with someone who blatantly broke my heart? Because I do not want to be the one to call the redemptive power of Godly love a lie! Jesus died on the cross to save us and to offer us an alternative to our sinful nature. God redeemed me (and all of you). Can His love redeem people like the ex-girlfriend in this example? Am I or are you willing to be the instrument God uses to transform our relationships from the same ole, same ole?
Now take the above example and apply it to your own situations. Maybe it is not an ex romantic partner, but maybe it is a family member with whom you have stopped speaking. Or perhaps your same ole, same ole is the possibility of a new romantic relationship that you are not willing to be open to. Or maybe it is a co-worker who is a specialist in working your last nerve. The possible examples of same ole, same ole are endless!
Why send that email or call that person or say hello to that person in the grocery store who spoke to you or contact that person to ask for forgiveness or buy dinner for someone who you know is having a hard time? Because that may an opportunity provided by the Divine to break out of the same ole, same ole rut.
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Although, I have not mastered the relationship thing, I think it is awesome if they exist but I think it is OK when they don’t. While I think with every opportunity we should never leave things broken or messed up in our relationships… we should do all that God has commanded us to do.
Some relationships are going to remain “same ole, same ole relationships” but we cannot keep walking around with those relationships on our backs we have to thank God for those relationships that are fruitful and he has been able to restore.
Honestly, I understand what you saying and I am not saying you are not right…but am I saying some relationships are not going to be more that a mere thought so we have to find a way to move forward and simply find peace within.
As you mentioned, we have been reconciled to Christ and we should try to reconcile others to Christ if at all possible…but what if it is not possible where does that leave me? I assure you my ex-boy friend has no desire to be just a friend and he will never forgive me for being the one to say “this is the end” unless of course God steps in. While this does not stop me from praying for him I think this is one relationship that I a OK with it just the way it is…Fore I believe I am still redeemed in ways you can’t possibly understand…as I said some relationships will remain “same ole, same ole relationships” without any thing new in sight.
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